String Theory

I’ve not been living up to my Writer’s Creed from the very moment I penned it. That’s not a great start to being the best writer I can be. I landed a proper adult job that gets in the way of what was already a rather sporadic writing schedule and thus over the last five weeks or so my writing’s been a matter of strings – tiny little vibrations of ideas that would make up grand mindscapes if someone would make the effort to braid them together. I’ve had some moments of inspiration that I imagine could’ve turned out well if I’d taken the time to nurture them. My overall excuse is that I don’t have time, but that’s not true, all the weird other shit I get up to considered. I’m writing this on the bus home right now because this long trip right here is time that I can use for writing instead of looking out of the window for half an hour. Even though it's the first rain of Spring and the view is gorgeous.

‘…over the last five weeks or so my writing’s been a matter of strings – tiny little vibrations of ideas that would make up grand mindscapes if someone would make the effort to braid them together…’

Since my writing’s been reduced to the quantum level of strings and all things very small it’s best that I make plans to conquer the dimension that is Time first before moving back to Space. I’ve never been all that great with my Time management but that has to change if I’m to get all the things I need done out of the way, things like:

·         Work (sustaining engine of my life and all)
·         R.E.D. October (pretend you know what that is)
·         Reading (I've been reading Toll the Hounds forever!)
·         Writing
·         Gym
·         People (I need to cut down on people I don't like though, they're bad for my health or 

          something equally sinister) 
·         Family
·         Movies
·         Series
·         Gaming
·         Eating (a very pleasurable pass time this)

The rain outside is distracting me quite a lot – it's transforming the ugly CBD to something quite lovely. Anyway, Time, I'm addressing you personally now. No, don't try hide behind your impressive silver beard! This thing we've been doing you and I, it needs to have some sort of a structure that benefits us both, you know. Even if it's a floppy sort of structure, I don't mind, as long as we get through 24 hours of you and we can look back and nod satisfactorily that we didn't waste all that much of you staring at the ceiling, although, it must be said, it's a very beautiful ceiling.

I'm not sure how one goes about the whole setting up a schedule business so we'll need to find out how that's done and do it. Any ideas who we can consult? Or am I doing all the research again? For all your ticking and tocking you're a lazy bugger.

'No, don't try hide behind your impressive silver beard!'

(Aside... askance…? Askew…? That sort of thing. Nthabiseng said to talk to 5 and ask 5 to come sooner. Around about half past 4 will do. So, hi, 5, b3an_Champ here. Could we get that done please, the whole half past 4 business and all. Thanks. I'm busy working with your father to conquer him so you know, family friend and all that. Cool.)

Once I conquer Time I can focus on the dimensions of up and down, backwards and forwards, left and right and inside out.

***

Skip forward a week; add some days and nights and here I am in a hospital waiting room. My mom has a standing (more likely sleeping though) problem with her liver – failure and what not. She had an episode tonight and here we are. I'm scared a little but she seems okay right now. Since I'm here I decided to go over the ol' writing pad on my phone and saw this. I'm quite disappointed in myself. I let a whole week and some days and nights pass without doing much of this writing business save for two middling poems. Really? It takes a goddam hospital room to get me trying. That's just wrong. I want to do better than that, be better than that. I want to be my own muse.

That is all.

"Fool," said my Muse to me, "look in thy heart, and write." 

Navigating the Two Realms

I'm scared. Very much so. It's midnight and I'm lying in bed, my mind restless as I try to unravel the digital strands of my presence on the Interwebs and order them in a more structured manner. It feels as though my online life is getting out of hand and Twitter is the final frontier facing me and then total virtual chaos. I'm on almost every other online social platform: Facebook, Google+, Blogspot, Shelfari, Linked In, You Tube, BBM, Mxit and a myriad of forums and other bobbles. My digital life is just more than I can live - it's too overwhelming!

Navigating The Circular Ruins of my mind.

People feel hassled and harried in the 'real' world as is, what with the breakneck pace of daily living to put food on the table and hang a 42-inch LCD TV on the wall. Then there's a whole other landscape (or is it more mindscape?) to navigate in form of the digital frontier - especially with the rise of social networks. Life is much easier now in terms of communication than is was some years back and it's so much more difficult at the same time. This paradox doesn't bother us much I've noticed, it's just the way it is these days and we go with the flow. We adapt and survive I guess. Also, we don't. I'm being coy with you aren't I? With all these little paradoxes. Well, it's because of how schizophrenic we've become - pieces of our beings divided between the 'real' and virtual realms. For the most part we cope with the strain quite well and then, to paraphrase William Butler Yeats, there are the times when things fall apart and our centre can no longer hold.

Then there's a whole other landscape (or is it more mindscape?) to navigate in form of the digital frontier - especially with the rise of social networks.

I'm a little OCD about things and like a certain degree of order to my online life, which is at odds with the chaotic nature of the Internet. It's difficult to keep track of the pieces of our selves that we put on social platforms. I always feel as though I've no real control of my virtual existence and that scares me at night! My dreams are riddled with post apocalypse scenes of Terminators roaming blasted landscapes and enslaving humans to do the god of technology's evil bidding. This, of course, is the rather exaggerated fear of an overactive mind and it holds very little water but it is symbolic of the relationship we have with the Internet and navigating that space.

We are connected to so many people and share with them our day to day activities and thoughts even though we don't really 'know' them all that well. Sure, you went to primary school with Thato and Shannon but when was the last time you really got to talk to them? It's nice having the option to catch up at the push of a button but we rarely actually reach out and do so. It's not because we don't want to, it's simply because we have too much choice and it's overwhelming. I've noticed that BBM already cuts into my time doing everything else. Whilst I'm reading, writing, eating, watching a movie and all manner of other life activities that menacing flashing red light appears on my Blackberry to inform me of a message awaiting my rapid response. Balancing 'real' life and digital life is a difficult act.

People keep telling me to make the jump onto the Twitter wagon as it will make it easier to connect with my friends because Facebook is dying. I can see the need to make the shift somewhat because people are always talking about my online activities like blogging on Twitter and I have to hear from other people that something I wrote is popular on Twitter. But I worry about the balancing act and how much more of my limited time I'll be spending on Twitter as opposed to being out and about staring at clouds.

I'm interested to know how you guys manage the balancing act. Is it a seamless transition navigating the two realms or, much like my experience; is it a herky jerky fumbling between the two? Please let me know.