#BizTrends2020: 2020 at the movies

My original article here.

09 Jan 2020

Here's what to look forward to on the big screen in 2020

Welcome to 2020 at the movies, let's see what this new decade has in store for us.

Reboots and long-awaited sequels

As ol’ King Solomon once said, there’s no new thing under the sun. This year’s reboots kick off with the horror feature, The Grudge – which will be released in theatres on 17 January. This is a reboot of three existing films released between 2004 and 2009, and those movies are based on the Japanese franchise!

Will Smith and a chubbier Martin Lawrence are back for one last ride as Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett in Bad Boys for Life. This is one we’ve been waiting for since 2003’s Bad Boys II. Belgian directors Bilall Fallah and Adil El Arbi have taken over the reins from Michael Bay but it looks like we can still expect a whole lot of explosions, car chases and gunfights. Bad Boys for Life hits our screens on 24 January.



Move over Eddie Murphy (and, I guess, Kyla Pratt from the straight-to-DVD versions), it’s Robert Downey Jr’s turn to take a crack at the eccentric Dr John Dolittle character in Dolittle also being released on 10 January. The man who can talk to animals is accompanied by a wealth of talent voicing all of his friends, including Rami Malek, Octavia Spencer, Kumail Nanjiani, John Cena, Emma Thompson, Antonio Banderas, Michael Sheen, Jim Broadbent, Marion Cotillard, Frances de la Tour, Carmen Ejogo, Ralph Fiennes, Selena Gomez, Tom Holland and Craig Robinson. The film is directed by Stephen Gaghan (Syriana, 2005).

HG Wells’s The Invisible Man gets a remake starring Elisabeth Moss (The Handmaid’s Tale), Aldis Hodge (Clemency) and Oliver Jackson-Cohen (The Haunting of Hill House). The film, written and directed by Leigh Whannell, comes out on 13 March. 27 March sees Disney continue with its live-action/hauntingly real CGI adaptations in the form of Mulan, directed by Niki Caro and starring Yifei Liu, Donnie Yen and Jet Li.




Daniel Craig is back in his fifth film as James Bond in No Time to Die on 3 April, directed by Cary Joji Fukunaga. The movie picks up after Bond has left active service and is enjoying a tranquil life in Jamaica and co-stars Rami Malek, as the Bond villain, Léa Seydoux and Lashana Lynch. Apparently, people have been waiting for a sequel to 1986’s Top Gun and their prayers have been answered! Tom Cruise is back as the legendary fighter pilot, Maverick in Top Gun: Maverick on 3 July.

Hollywood is taking another stab at Ghostbusters this year after the 2016 version didn’t go down so well. They are linking this one right back to the originals and tapping into that glorious ‘80s nostalgia that’s keeping Stranger Things’ Finn Wolfhard employed. 10 July gives us Ghostbusters: Afterlife with the original feature’s director’s son, Jason Reitman, in the director’s chair. The movie starts good ol’ Finn Wolfhard, Paul Rudd, Mckenna Grace, Carrie Coon and Bokeem Woodbine.



We’ve had Kingsman: The Secret Service and Kingsman: The Golden Circle and now we go back in time with the prequel to discover the origins of the very first independent intelligence agency, The King’s Man, on 14 February. The King's Man stars Harris Dickinson, Ralph Fiennes, Gemma Arterton and Djimon Hounsou. Matthew Vaughn is back as director.

The comic book stuff

DC kicks off things with Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn on 7 February. Remember Suicide Squad? I guess this movie picks from there. Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn’s broken up with the Joker and is looking to start a new life. I don’t even know. At some point, Harley Quinn joins superheroes Black Canary, Huntress and Renee Montoya to save a young girl from an evil crime lord, Black Mask. Birds of Prey stars Margot Robbie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jurnee Smollett-Bell, Rosie Perez, Chris Messina, Ella Jay Basco, Ali Wong and Ewan McGregor. The film is directed by Cathy Yan (Dead Pigs, 2018).



3 April gives us director Josh Boone’s horror-influenced X-Men movie New Mutants, hopefully. The movie was supposed to be released in 2018 but was delayed. It stars Game of Throne's Maisie Williams and Anya Taylor-Joy. Marvel Studios opens their Phase 4 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with Black Widow on 1 May. The film is directed by Cate Shortland (Berlin Syndrome, 2017) and stars Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, alongside David Harbour, Florence Pugh, O-T Fagbenle and Rachel Weisz. Set after the events of Captain America: Civil War (2016), the film sees Romanoff on the run and forced to confront her past.

2017’s Wonder Woman was a huge hit and we’re super excited about the sequel, Wonder Woman 1984. The sequel hits screens on 5 June, it’s set in the ‘80s (like so many films and series these days) and sees the return of Steve Trevor somehow. The movie is the ninth instalment in the DC Extended Universe and is directed and co-written by Patty Jenkins. It stars Gal Gadot as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, alongside Chris Pine, Kristen Wiig, Pedro Pascal, Robin Wright and Connie Nielsen.

More highlights

Other films to look forward to in 2020 are The Turning, based on Henry James’s novel – which is the story of a nanny hired to take care of two creepy kids in a creepy house in Maine. The film stars Mackenzie Davis, Finn Wolfhard (this kid again), Brooklynn Prince and Joely Richardson. Sonic the Hedgehog is a thing that’s happening. In this live-action adventure comedy, Sonic and his new best friend Tom (James Marsden) team up to defend the planet from the evil genius Dr Robotnik (Jim Carrey) and his plans for world domination.



A film I’m looking forward to – because I loved the books as a kid – is Artemis Fowl, which is about a 12-year-old Artemis who is a millionaire, a genius and a criminal mastermind. But Artemis doesn’t know what he's taken on when he kidnaps a fairy, Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon Unit to harness her magic to save his family. Disney Pixar is also releasing an interesting project with Soul, a journey from the streets of New York City to the cosmic realms to discover the answers to life’s most important questions. Soul stars Jamie Foxx and Tina Fey and is directed by Inside Out's Pete Docter.

I wish you 2020 vision at the movies this year.

Inclusive storytelling with Black Panther

My original article here.
26 Feb 2018

Shall we discuss the giant black panther currently in the room? I have been keeping track of the production of Marvel's Black Panther for the last two years and the end result is beyond anything I could have imagined. I honestly thought that Black Panther would be on the same level as Dr Strange and Spider-Man: Homecoming; that it would be solid but serve more as just another introduction of a new character to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. You know, setting up all the pieces for Avengers: Infinity War. I should have known better, I really should. I should have know when the legendary South African actor, John Kani appeared as King T’Chaka in Captain America: Civil War and greeted his son, T’Challa, in Xhosa that it was a foreshadow to something that would turn the world on its head. Black Panther is a great Marvel movie but it has also managed to give black people a sense of pride at a time when we need it most. When I went to see Wonder Woman last year I walked out of the cinema grinning from ear to ear because it came at a time women needed a heroine. I walked out of the cinema after watching Black Panther and I was stunned at how good it felt to see a comic movie and relate to it with your heart and soul. As a black, Xhosa-speaking South African I’d venture to say that I got more from the film than a black American did. But, hey, there is more than enough meaning in the movie to go around for everyone. I don’t know if what I am writing next is going to be a review or a verbal rain dance giving thanks to Marvel Studios and Ryan Coogler for telling a story that gives voice to a people.

I do not dare to give away too much of the plot because you really have to experience it for yourself but, in a nutshell: Black Panther kicks off right after Civil War and T’Challa arrives back in Wakanda to take up his deceased father’s mantle as king. Chadwick Boseman plays the character of a son who has to step up and be king in a quiet and thoughtful manner. His rule is challenged from within Wakanda and also from without. There is also conflict within himself about what sort of king he wishes to be and in what direction he will lead his people. Andy Serkis’s Ulysses Klaue is cruel and has this crazy sense of humour that you can’t help but like. They have Andy Serkis really lay that South African accent on you and it works. Klaue quickly gives way to Erik Killmonger as the main villain of the piece. Michael B. Jordan steals the show and his Killmonger sends chills down your spine whilst simultaneously breaking your heart. Killmonger is the MCU’s most tragic villain and while you know that he has to be stopped the reasons he does what he does, make sense. He is the Hamlet of Wakanda.


The female characters are my favourite. The women of Wakanda are intelligent, resourceful, and will definitely kick your ass! T’Challa’s love interest is Nakia played by the gorgeous Lupita Nyong’o. She is an undercover spy and can more than hold her own in any situation. Letitia Wright plays T’Challa’s sister, Shuri. At age 16 she is Wakanda’s genius inventor who takes every opportunity to make fun of her older brother. Danai Gurira’s Okoye is Wakanda’s greatest warrior. She is head of the Dora Milaje, the elite, all-female unit that guards the king. She is no-nonsense and loyal to the throne.

Other characters that stand out are Martin Freeman as Everett K. Ross, Daniel Kaluuya from Get Out as W’Kabi, Winston Duke as M’Baku, Forest Whitaker as Zuri, and the graceful Angela Basset as Romanda, T’Challa’s mother. John Kani returns from Civil War to portray T’Chaka and his son, Atandwa Kani portrays a young T’Chaka. Another South African television and film veteran, Connie Chiume appears as the elder of the Mining Tribe.

The Wakanda that director Ryan Coogler and his team have brought to life is a visual miracle. In the trailer, you hear Everett Ross’s character say: “I have seen gods fly. I have seen men build weapons that I couldn't even imagine. I've seen aliens drop from the sky. But I have never seen anything like this.” We have seen places like Asgard and Xandar but we have not seen anything like Wakanda. The research that Coogler’s team did was clearly extensive. They took inspiration from South Africa, Zimbabwe, Namibia, Ethiopia, Kenya, Nigeria, Uganda, Ghana, and many other African countries to create the aesthetics of Wakanda. Throw in some advanced tech and you have an Afro-tech society like no other. We have long known that black culture inspires many fashion trends so it comes as no surprise that everything in Wakanda drips style. Black culture has also always been at the forefront of music so it makes sense that the music in Black Panther, like in Luke Cage, can almost be seen as a character in its own right. The soundtrack, spearheaded by the urban poet (as Malusi Gigaba referred to him in the Budget Speech) Kendrick Lamar is worth listening to on its own. If you’re a fan of the Black Panther comic books, you’re also covered. The movie digs quite deep into the lore with many of its Easter eggs.



Black Panther is not merely a comic book film but a celebration that I think anyone can enjoy. You don’t have to be black or into comic books to enjoy this movie. It is not perfect but where it falters you can easily forgive those missteps. At some points, the actors butcher the Xhosa language but you can see that they gave it their best and you appreciate the effort. If you have not seen Black Panther yet, go out and do so. #WakandaForever

A note on representation and gatekeeping

I have been involved in nerd, geek, and pop culture ever since I picked up a copy of Spider-Man in my first year of school and I love the community with my heart and soul but there is a large part of our culture that is toxic. The culture still has too many fragile male egos that rail against making room for women or people of colour. There is also still a hipster-like gatekeeping culture that bars anyone with only a casual or mainstream interest in the culture. If you don’t know what happened in The Uncanny X-Men #141-142, you’re not one of us. If you don’t know who the wizard, Radagast the Brown in The Lord of the Rings is, do you even really nerd, bro’? Seeing projects like Wonder Woman, Luke Cage, Black Panther and the new Star Wars films become more inclusive gives us hope that our culture will get to a point where we can tell the stories that make room for all of us as human beings. I always go back to Grant Morrison’sFinal Crisis as the high-water mark for the grand scale in which comic books can tell stories and a quote by one of the celestial beings (I always forget if it was Zillo Valla or Weeja Dell) monitoring the multiverse is what I think inclusive stories should be: “We all now have names and stories; there are heroes and villains, secrets and lovers.” That is what we all want, to have names and stories in the media. Films like Black Panther bring us closer to that.

2017 at the Movies

I won't lie, you guys, I have let life capture my nerd flag for the last few months. I have not even seen Dr Strange or Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them yet. The year 2016 shall go down as just the worst - seriously, just the worst. But enough of that, take my hand and let's look ahead towards 2017 and see what good things will fill our movie loving hearts with gooey goodness.

Here are some of the movies that we can look forward to:

1. A Star Wars Christmas

This is still a 2016 feature, but since it will be on circuit quite a bit into 2017 it warrants a mention. As you all know, Disney does not mess around when they take over a franchise. We will have Star Wars for Christmas in one way or another for the rest of our lives. As long as there are Star Wars fans and Disney can make money from us there will be Star Wars. 



Last year gave us JJ Abrams’ beautiful love letter to the original trilogy, Episode VII: The Force Awakens. This year, we get the first of probably one million anthologies that are meant to tide us over in between the main movies, of which we’ll get one every two years. The first anthology feature that we will receive is titled Rogue One and it looks brilliant. You know how you have always wondered how the rebels got the plans for the first Death Star? Or exactly how many Bothans died to get information on the second Death Star? No, you never wondered? Well Rogue One will answer the former question for you anyway. Just take a look at the trailer and get excited about more Star Wars. 

The cast looks to be pretty impressive too with Felicity Jones (The Theory of Everything, 2014) in the lead role and cool people like Mads Mikkelsen (Dr Strange, 2016), Alan Tudyk (Firefly) and Forest Whitaker (Arrival, 2016) lending their support.

2. Marvel v DC: Comic Book Movie War

This war is rather one-sided with Marvel pretty much still dominating. 2016 saw them release their first entries in Phase 3 with Captain America: Civil War and Dr Strange, both of which received favourable responses at the box office and with the fans. 2017 looks like it will up the ante with Guardians of the Galaxy 2 set to drop in May (hopefully with another killer soundtrack); our favourite neighbourhood Spider-Man gets his time in the sun with Homecoming in July; and things get apocalyptic in Thor: Ragnorok in November.



The DC Extended Universe (DCEU) has had a rocky start with Batman v Superman being a hit in some ways and quite a miss in many other ways. With Suicide Squad, their heart was certainly in the right place, but it also failed to hit the mark in many ways (and you thought Deadshot never misses). What DC does have is some strong characters to work with and a good foundation for their Justice League venture. Batman and Wonder Woman were amazing in Batman v Superman and Harley Quinn became an instant hit in Suicide Squad. 2017 will give us the much anticipated Wonder Woman movie in June and the first Justice League movie in November.

Superheroes seem still to be a thing for the foreseeable future. Who knew?

3. A little nostalgia

You are over superhero movies you say?

Say no more, Fam. Say no more. 2017 knows that you are all about reliving your childhood and will hook you up with that good stuff. Remember watching Power Rangers before school in the morning and then ending up being late? Well, now you get to see the movie in March 2017. 

Baywatch? Hot bodies and slow motion beach running. May 2017 will have that for you and there is no hotter body to do the slow beach running for you than The Rock himself. Speaking of The Rock, you liked Jumanji as a child, right? 2017 will hook you up with that too in December and throw The Rock in for good measure. The whole The Rock thing probably made you think of Vin Diesel and 2017 is like don’t worry we know you didn’t like the XXX 2 movie with Ice Cube, so we will hook you up with XXX: The Return of Xander Cage in January and Fast 8 in April just for fun. You know how it is, The Rock, Vin Diesel, fast cars, hot women, family and not really eight characters. It’s like 12 people who are somewhat fast. 2017 is lit. It even has the live action version of Beauty and the Beast up its sleeve for you in March. All I will say is Emma Watson. Hopefully that means something to you (#heforshe).

4. Dropping names and all that

You always have to end off with that name dropping session, just to show that you know who’s who in the biz. In 2017 you’ll also have Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, Kong: Skull Island, Logan (that’s Wolverine by the way), Transformers: The Last Knight, Alien: Covenant, War for the Planet of the Apes, The Dark Tower, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Ghost in the Shell (we’ll have to talk about Hollywood whitewashing when this hits), John Wick: Chapter 2 and Fifty Shades Darker.



There are many more titles scheduled for good ol’ 2017, but those are the ones scheduled to make some waves.

Here’s to a happy 2017 at the movies.

Honest Trailers - Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

When BvS: Dawn of Justice came out I wrote a review for it over on Bizcommunity.com and I had many mixed feelings about it. It seem the guys over at Honest Trailers agree with me.

Comic-Con 2015 Geekgasms

So Comic-Con 2015 has come and gone and as per usual we were teased with comicy goodness that had us salivating for more and now we have to wait for all that good stuff to come out. But being the industrious geeks we are we will spend the next few months speculating about every little detail in all the trailers we saw.

Here are some of the stuff I thought was cool and look forward to:

Well, Star Wars is obviously going to be the biggest deal for me because that's how my geekiness was born. I have a love/hate relationship with the old movies but I constantly returned to them and I always wanted more of the stories and often read up on all the non-canon lore to get my fix. The Phantom Menace is rather silly but I still watched the nonsense out of it and collected the posters and figurines. Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith were okay for me but the old movies were still the most fun, especially The Empire Strikes Back, I love that movie. Looking at this reel from Comic-Con it looks like The Force Awakens is really a labour of love for everyone working on the film. It also looks like J.J. Abrams and his team are making Star Wars fun again, which is great because that's what Star Wars should be. Nobody cared for Anakin's pained facial expressions, what when we had cool shit like Boba Fett, R2-D2 and Chewie dammit!

Marvel have become so big with their Marvel Cinematic Universe that they don't even need to bother showing up at Comic-Con anymore. This gave DC a great chance to show off some things they have planned and although it was not the best showing (they really should have gone bigger with Marvel not being there to hog all the attention) this trailer for Batman V Superman has me a little excited. Man of Steel was more of a miss than a hit and lots of people don't have much faith in the whole Batfleck situation but this trailer gives me some hope. Zack Snyder is good with the darker and more serious stuff, which is why Man of Steel didn't go down so well but add a Frank Miller, The Dark Knight Returns sort of Batman to the mix and maybe that dark tone can work. I love what Snyder did with Watchmen and the political stuff happening with Super Man in this trailer is very reminiscent of that. Then we also have Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman and we know Snyder is not the greatest with how he represents female characters so that could really go any way. I'm really hoping this one is good though, we deserve a good movie with Superman in it. Do good for us, Mr Snyder and crew.

Then there is Suicide Squad and from what I can see in the trailer I'm sold. I can roll with all this silliness. People seem not to be reacting so well to Jared Leto's Joker but I think it can work. Really, this whole thing looks so ridiculous that I can't wait to see it. I'm also pretty much cool with how the members of the squad turned out. Margot Robbie looks fun and sexy as Harley Quinn. Will Smith makes for a decent Deadshot and we have the wonderful Viola Davis as Amanda Waller. I have always thought that in a world of ridiculous villains Captain Boomerang is still quite silly but it works for him and Jai Courtney looks quite cool as the character. The way Adewale Arkinnuoye-Agbaje's Killer Croc looks reminds me of the character in Brian Azzarello and Lee Bermejo's Joker graphic novel. So, yeah, I'm pretty hyped about this one.

The official trailer may not be released yet but from the leaked versions floating around the interwebs Deadpool was probably the coolest thing at Comic-Con this year. I'll dare say that it was even cooler than Star Wars in some regards. The Merc With a Mouth has always been a fan favourite and it's good to see that it looks like 20th Century Fox will be doing right by him.

Those are my Comic-Con highlights and there were loads of other stuff to see and love that will be all over the interwebs by now. All I can say is cheers to the next few years of geeky goodness :).

A Little More Kindness

"More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness." - Charlie Chaplin

A few weeks ago a friend challenged me to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and this got me thinking about how everyone can do something around them to make the world a brighter place. I won’t lie, I’d never heard of Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) before seeing all the videos of people pouring buckets of ice-cold water over their heads on my social media feeds. You’d think I’d know that Stephen Hawking suffers from ALS at least but nope, total ignorance on my part. ALS is a disease very far removed from my centre of attention.

The people behind the Ice Bucket Challenge, the ALS Association are looking to create a world without ALS. This, of course, requires money for researching cures for the disease and supporting people already living with it and affected by it. This is a noble cause and they used the power of social media to come up with a fun way to raise the funds they need for this good work. I commend this and it’s great to see a charitable drive gain so much momentum and create a stir. This is the sort of cause that people should donate money to or invest some of their time in whether they do it with a video or not. But you should always know exactly what it is that you are supporting.

The interwebs are a vibrant place where people vehemently share their opinions and very soon memes were making the rounds that people are wasting water whilst many regions in the world don’t have enough drinking water. Some celebrity personalities also declined the challenge on the grounds that there are reports stating that the ALS Association is involved in animal testing. Both these points are valid: wasting water is foolish and supporting an organisation that runs tests for cures for diseases on animals is not something everyone can agree on (and that’s a whole different and important argument).

The former issue made me think of my beloved mother warning me not to waste food or drink as a child because children in China are starving . . . but how would my not wasting the food ease their plight? I always thought. We live in South Africa and there were children starving in our neighbourhood that I could have given that food to. As far as animal testing is concerned, I don’t know whether the ALS Association is involved in this or not but it highlights the point that people shouldn’t blindly donate to organisations. As someone trying to ease the burden of other human beings you must go a bit further than just giving money to an organisation and invest some of your time finding out whether it shares the same values as you. This is also another reason I like the idea of volunteering because it gives you a first-hand experience of work being done by charities and other such institutes.

I took up the Ice Bucket Challenge but I did not support the ALS Association because I felt that there are causes closer to me that I can focus on. The world is in dire need of a lot of cleverness to solve many of its issues. Children should not be starving in China, South Africa or anywhere else when there is more than enough food to go around. There are enough resources for everyone on our planet but the problem is access. Clever minds are needed to enable such access but kindness is also needed. I am intelligent but I doubt I will be figuring out how to solve the issue of a child in China’s hunger anytime soon (sorry, mom) but I sure can give a hungry child who is right down the road from me something to eat. I took up my Ice Bucket Challenge in a spirit of being kind to all my fellow humans and helping where I can. I love food and I am the sort of person who packs a lot of it for work and sport so I will pack just a few more sandwiches and fruit to give to people.

Stories were my refuge as a child.

Giving sandwiches doesn’t solve the underlying problems though. I don’t have much money to give but I also don’t think that would help as much as me giving of my time. I love books and when I was growing up my family was poor (we’re only a little less so now) and stories were my refuge; they comforted me and taught me some wisdom. In addition to my grandmother and mother I was raised by stories and our local library was my second home. I can share that with children and will do so. I am privileged to work at the Children and Youth editorial office of one of South Africa’s largest publishing houses and to volunteer on the executive board (this is a whole lot less fancy than it sounds) of an organisation that seeks to get rid of the problem of illiteracy in South Africa. These are wonderful platforms from which to help nurture a hunger for learning in children and thus equip them with knowledge to support themselves as they grow older. I pledge my efforts and time to these ventures because that is a role I am most equipped to play in trying to make the world a better place.

I think most people are looking for opportunities to be kind but miss them in their daily lives because they think their acts of kindness may be too insignificant or they are daunted by the really large acts they really want to be doing. Look at all the opportunities on social media that are wasted! People will like and share the crap out of a status highlighting conflicts across the world and how we really should be doing something. Sometimes people even emotionally blackmail each other with posts about how you support something heinous like rape if you don’t share some picture. I hate stuff like that but it shows that people want to be kind, there is a spark of it albeit somewhat misguided. This whole Ice Bucket Challenge proves that social media can be a powerful tool to create awareness of issues and even to raise money for them but you still have to go out and be kind and generous in your daily life. Do small things for people and if you can, do big things. Just try and extend a helping hand whenever you can. That is my challenge to you.

The world is full of injustices like hunger, rape, murder, sexism, racism, corruption, war and many issues like disease and natural disasters. Lend your support wherever you can. You don’t have to be Superman or Wonder Woman (unless you can, then totally do that) but your small acts of kindness and even your cleverness can go a long way.

Kick-Ass Women in Gaming

Sexism in Gaming Kick-Ass Women in Gaming

This has been a great year for gaming in terms of what we already have to play and in terms of announcements. Here in sunny South Africa we had rAge last weekend and though I could not attend I know from all the media and attendees with lunatic grins on their faces that it was a good show. The gaming community is getting better all the time and anyone regardless of who they are can get in on the fun… Or can they? Surely we are past things like racism, sexism and other nasty –isms?

Sadly we are not. The biggest issue I’ve experienced as a gamer this year is the shocking amount of instances of sexism and misogynistic views in our beloved industry. In SA we already have a huge issue with crimes against women like rape and other forms of abuse. It’s tough being a woman in just day-to-day interactions and it breaks my heart that a community based on escapism and having fun can be sexist. Games are meant to be fun for everyone who wants to pick up a ‘joystick’ and play.

When I started writing this piece the idea was to point out in great and righteously angry detail how stupid male gamers can be and to refer to cases like the reactions when Remember Me was first announced and people were freaked out that they’d have to play as a heterosexual female protagonist who is – surprise, surprise – sexually interested in men. I was going to write a rant about the nasty, misogynistic and plain stupid attacks on Gamespot writer, Carolyn Petit’s GTA V review. I’m not going to do any of that, instead I’m going to celebrate three amazing women who are in the industry and are contributing towards making our favourite pastime even more enjoyable.

I think this year’s Tomb Raider is one of the best games of the year.  (If you don’t happen to think so please don’t send the KKK to my house – it’s just an opinion.) One of the people on Crystal Dynamics’ brilliant team that we can thank for a Lara Croft that’s actually likeable and actually more beautiful because she has a personality is Rhianna Pratchett, who served as the lead writer on the project. Rhianna earned her stripes writing for games like Overlord 1 & 2, Mirror’s Edge and my other favourite of the year Bioshock Infinite.

If you attended rAge you would’ve seen Noelle Adams’ amazing Lara Croft cosplay. She has big presence in the SA gaming scene. She writes, blogs, vlogs, Facebooks and Tweets all things nerdy and for that we like her. She’s sort of like Wonder Woman really.

Pippa Tshabalala was the MC at rAge this year and has an amazing presence in the SA gaming scene, what with having hosted a gaming show, The Verge and teaching 3D animation for a while. She writes or has written for many online and print publications and contributes much to the gaming scene.

Even though our beloved industry has a lot of growing up to do it’s a great community and everyone should be welcome to contribute and enjoy playing games.

The Plan

In this life one needs a Plan, a towel, a tie and a hammer to make it big. If you’re lacking any of these tools be assured that your name will never go down in the annals of history as a person who was legend. The last three items on the list are easily acquired by anyone 21st Century-savvy enough to walk into a store or two and fork out some cash (which can be acquired through begging, stealing or by being employed). The Plan, though, is the nut-kicker. Without a solid Plan things will not fall into place for you.

Have you ever see Ocean’s Eleven? Yes? Good. George Clooney and his gang are people with a rock solid Plan in that movie. So much so that they went and carried out their Plan in two more movies. That’s the sort of thing you should be aiming for with your Plan.

Everyone wants to win at life and keep on winning till the day they die. Some people are so good at winning that they do so even after they’re dead. These are the people who have their names spoken in hushed tones of reverence. They are legend and had a solid Plan.

What constitutes a solid Plan though?

First things first: a list.

Ask yourself what you want in life and jot it down, every little thing you want. A lightsaber, super powers, Wonder Woman as your girlfriend, to become a surgeon, 2.5 kids, a bat mobile, jot everything down. If you’re going to make a list, you might as well make a proper list. It’s no use messing around.

With that out of the way you have to ask yourself how much effort you will need to invest into getting the ridiculous stuff on your list. This, alas, is the part where you have to be realistic. The best way to go about attaining your desires is to get hold of money, loads of it. The more money you can get the easier it will be to get people who are much more intelligent than you are to spend all their time finding a way to get you super powers.

The coolest way of making loads of money is to rob a bank and use that money to start a lucrative crime syndicate that allows you to have your grubby paws in every cookie jar on the shelf. It is recommended that you spend a few years on this part of the Plan. Also, try avoiding going to jail if you can. If you do get caught spend your time behind bars getting a business degree of some sort and doing push-ups. Use every step in the Plan as a learning experience. The only thing that can stop you is death – avoid it at all costs.

You will know you’ve made it to the top when you find yourself at the head of a boardroom table at the top floor of a skyscraper, surrounded by shady crime bosses clad in Armani suits and whose faces are wreathed in Cuban cigar smoke. Also, you’ll be donning a very snazzy tie and own several comfortable towels. It’s at this point in your life that you can get everything on your list by means of bribery and/or intimidation by way of hammer-wielding thugs (dressed as Thor if you like). Patience, that most admirable of virtues, would be a great addition to your repertoire at this stage (if the years of working on the Plan failed to bestow it upon you – you slow learner, you) but if you do get a little impatient once in a while torture a henchman or two – it’s such a great way to release all your pent-up emotions.

That, furry friends, is how you win at life.


Disclaimer: George Clooney gives this Plan his approval as being rock solid. Also, he is Batman with nipples. That is all. As you were.