Cupboard Person of the Week

Superman

“It's not about where you were born. Or what powers you have. Or what you wear on your chest. ... It's about what you do... It's about action.”

With the Batman trilogy's director, Christopher Nolan producing and 300's Zack Snyder in the director's chair I have faith the movie will be worthy of the Superman mythos.

This week I’m pulling out the biggest gun of them all! This post will be riddled with exclamation marks to emphasise the awesomeness of this more-than-man! Everything about this guy’s extreme; there are no half hearted attempts at anything on his part. I am referring, of course, to the greatest hero of them all, Kal-El or Superman as we know him on planet Earth.

The Sphinx: What happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable object?

Superman: They Surrender.

-          Grant Morrison

Let me start off by saying that I didn’t like this guy much to begin with. In fact, there was a part of me that outright hated him! He was just too good at everything for me to take him seriously as a hero. He is almost perfect dammit! This is strange in itself, that I’d hate the guy for being too rad-ical. I liked (and still do) super muk muks (as Dan Turpin refers to ‘em) like Batman who are at the ‘peak’ of human excellence and whatnot because at the end of the day they’re human and if I train hard enough I could be like them. This was a naive thought, though, because when it’s all said and done Batman’s also too good to be true. Thus, after looking at Superman from a new perspective I’ve started appreciating him for what he is in the DC universe. I actually like him quite a lot now, especially after reading Final Crisis: Superman Beyond by Grant Morrison.

“It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then... he shoots fire from the skies and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him.”

-          Batman

I agree with Batman's sentiment that Clark is the most human of us in that he lives up to most of the virtues that we uphold as being good and true but never seem to be able to live up to. He shares some similarities with Jesus in that regard. The whole idea of man made perfect and all. As our greatest hero he sets the standard for us. Philosopher, Peter Kreeft says of Christ that He is not the exception when it comes to being the perfect human being but the rule. Superman's whole ideal is the same, he seeks to inspire people to stand up and be more than they ever thought they were and to uphold justice in all that they do, regardless of their power and abilities. People don't have to be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound to stand up against the tyrannies of this world. But it does look cool dealing with them by shooting heat rays out of one's eyes, you have to admit.

Superman's one of the most powerful beings in the DC universe but his humilty is quite astonishing and he is willing to give his all, body and soul, to protect is adopted homeworld against powerful threats like Darkseid, who in Final Crisis launches an attack against existence itself. In a squeeze Superman's the dude you want by your side: powers that embody the term badassery (a real made-up word, Thato!) and humility that makes you think you're on the same level as he is. He is without a doubt DC's greates hero and I, for one, cannot wait to see him in all his glory on the silver screen next year in Man of Steel. I really hope the reboot does him justice because all the movies thus far made him seem a little bit silly. With the Batman trilogy's director, Christopher Nolan producing and 300's Zack Snyder in the director's chair I have faith the movie will be worthy of the Superman mythos.


P.S. That turned out a little more serious than I'd intended. Not enough Pow! and Bam!

The Church's Badassery

'To go against the Church is to go against God.'

I went to go see Priest with Ms J. on Friday and it was so much better than I expected. Then again my expectations were based purely on the theatrical poster; I’d not seen a trailer or heard anything about it beforehand. I actually thought it was based on the Thief video game series. It’s actually, rather loosely, based on a graphic novel series though. Ms J. said let’s go see it and the Beanbag was game.

Now, I rarely like movies (or any other entertainment media) that are set in a dystopian or post-apocalyptic future because, to quote my friend, Dave (referring to Fallout 3), “[they] depress me”. Such movies have to be really good for me to put up with and Priest, though it’s not an excellent movie as such, was fun to watch. It has a villain simply referred to as Black Hat in the credits dammit! That’s total badassery. Also, there’s an army of crazy, animalistic vampires (who have no eyes) on a train, hell-bent on the destruction of a totalitarian city run by the Church. The manner in which the Church runs the city is brutal and I’d not like to live there. They do have awesome warrior priests that kick some vampire ass though. You can never go wrong with Holy men and women opening a can righteous ass whupping.

There’s a lot to be said about the big, bad Church... the Big BC as I fondly know it. I’ve always been intrigued by the Church’s rather violent history back in the day (as my tutlings refer to anything that happened more than a decade ago). Rome was badass I tell you! All the ways with which they came up with to kill people would sicken many a serial killer today. On warm summer days I sit on the grass under my favourite tree and wonder what the meeting was like when a handful of respectable Elders of the Church got together and agreed that boiling a guy was the way forward. I can just see them all nodding solemnly in agreement at the suggestion. I’d put my house... wait I don’t have one... I’d put my awesome four-year-old cousin, Lennie, down on a bet that the guy to put that option on the table was one of those Rasputin types that no one seems to know is crazy even though he looks freakin’ crazy!

Maybe I’m just not good at being a Christian but what was up with all that violence!? Am I misreading my Bible? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that Jesus is naught but a sweet, gentle lamb. Lord no! He is also a fierce lion that fights for love’s cause, but why did they have to get all creative about torturing and killing people? I’d go with just hanging them or something simple. Even stoning is a quite excessive for my tastes.

Let me end off by playing devil's advocate and directing you to some of the Church's atrocities throughout history.

P.S. The moral of this story is don't mess with warrior priests or the Church, they will kick your ass... and the boil you alive.