Setting Fire to Life

Hello my furry friends,

First things first (never second): I love you guys! Each and every one of you. I love how beautiful, intelligent, patient and just generally awesome you are. I would like to marry each and every one of you guys and because I'm Xhosa-ish I can. I'll get cows and everything. It'll be nice.

Second things second (never first): I'm falling in love with this rag called life and I'm setting it on fire, arsonist that I am. My life pretty much sucks right now but God gave me amazing friends and some useful family members to help me on my journey to becoming the absolute best that I can be. If I'm going to set my life on fire I might as well do so with the best team available to me.

Phoenix Rising

Here's the bulletproof plan:

1. Land the epic librarian gig I've been gunning for all this time. I would be South Africa's best librarian. No question about it. Books, talking with and helping people are where it's (I'm not too sure what 'it' is) at for me. I am also interested in the Big Five literacy programmes that the City of Johannesburg's libraries host annually - that's my wheelhouse and all.

Jo'burg Libraries

2. Be money wise. The thing that always kicks me in the head all the time is that I am stupid with my money. I'm sad to admit that I'm too compulsive a creature and that I go too far in spending money on too many things that aren't important for progress in my life. That's not cool and I should stop it. Just stop it, Charlie. *the moving, wagging finger*

3. My new favourite real life hero is Pierre Spies. He's, like, so totally awesome hey. The man's just a tank whose life is on Wizard's Fire. He is the inspiration behind my new workout routine and health plan. This guy. He's rad-ical. I also want to buy a mountain bike and hit the off-road for that adventurous healthy sort of lifestyle.

Pierre Spies

4. I miss taking some time out, connecting with the 'verse and talking to the Big G. I should do more of that, more of the time. I miss You Big G, I miss our dialogue. Please forgive me for being silent for so long. I also miss C.S. Lewis and Peter Kreeft a lot. Those guys know God's heart very intimately.

5. Work harder. Work smarter. I'm the laziest person I know and it's my lethargy that's been the source of many a failure of mine. I'm also pretty dumb about how I work. I've no plan of attack; I just wing it, which ain't too efficient or sensible. This is one of the important tasks to get done.

6. Read more. A book a week keeps the ignorance away. I want to expand my reading material to more than comic books, graphic novels, horror, fantasy and sci-fi novels. I'm going to annihilate the 101 Books to Read Before You Die list this year. Bam! Just like that. Better and smarter Charlie, always a hit at upper crust parties.

7. Game more. I miss gaming and tech so much that my soul actually hurts. Gaming is to me what boobs (lol) are to awesomeness - essential dammit! I have so many titles to catch up with: replay Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 in preparation for Mass Effect 3, Skyrim, Batman: Arkham City, Deus Ex: Human Evolution and many other titles beside.

8. Get my driver's licence. This one has been a thorn in my side for some time and it's time to be a road warrior and just do it once and for all. Get it out of the way as they say. Also, there's the fact that bitches love being driven around in cars and stuff.

9. Be adventurous and tick off exciting things on the impromptu (we'll pretend I know what that means) bucket list: surfing, sky diving, banging dirty hippies with ginger dreadlocks, climbing a mountain - any one will do - and winning fights against annoying assholes.

10. Finally, do some good for change. I'm a fan of literacy programmes so I'll do something selfless along those lines.

Okay. That's the list, give or give a few more items. Other than Pierre Spies, and a host of others, I'm being my own hero. No cape, no tights or cool Bat toys - just me.

Thank you for sticking around and indulging me my little speech. I ask only that you join me in forging (I like that word - and know what it means) an alliance of everyday heroes that set the 'verse alight by being super awesome at living our lives.

Fire Dragon

Also, happy Chinese New Year for tomorrow.

Cupboard Person of the er... Year

“The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in 
life.” - Sir Hugh Walpole

I didn’t think of her as an actual human person with hopes, wishes, dreams, feelings, boobs, cute lazy eyes and chutzpah.

It’s too early to make this person my Cupboard Person of the Year, I know, since the year has just kicked off but she will be a highlight no matter what else happens to me this year. So here we go: the beautiful and charming Nthabiseng Monyane.

Life is wonderfully wobbly and all sorts of wibbly and I love it for that very reason. You can never be too sure of what to expect from it. It gives you Joy and sunshine at times and grief and thunderstorms at others. That’s just the way it goes.

Once in a while, though, someone amazing happens and her beautiful soul enters into your life and throws your whole rhythm out of balance by exploding her galaxy into your soulstuff. It’s a beautiful moment that I wish I could capture and bottle. That’s not the way God’s multiverse works though and all I can do is hold my breath and enjoy the beauty of the moment. I can also write about it a little.

Life in its wonderfully wobbly proportions is sneaky like a ninja kitten and introduced me to Nthabi-chan as Asia – someone who left a comment on a post on this here blog a few years back. Of course I didn’t think anything of it back then, since I didn’t expect that we would be meeting at any point. I lack all sorts of foresight I guess. She was, to my mind, just another wonderful mind trawling the interwebscape. I didn’t think of her as an actual human person with hopes, wishes, dreams, feelings, boobs, cute lazy eyes and chutzpah.

And then she moved to Jozi and got in touch and we started chatting on BBM, plotting clandestine meetings in dark corners where groping might occur. We just hit it off like two red headed stepchildren (to quote my friend, Grant). Plans were plot and schemes were scam for the meeting day and they almost unravelled because of fresh fog fuckery on my side of things but we circumvented all of that and met for a drink last Friday. Needless to say that the meeting went well... Okay, I lie, the meeting was freakin’ amazing! This woman just made it into my headspace without any effort and it was one of the highlights of my life.

Plans were plot and schemes were scam for the meeting day...

I am grateful to the hooded and cloaked powers that be that I met Nthabi-chan and I look forward to at least a lifetime of shared experiences.

Welcome to the Beanbag my Lady Love, I hope you enjoy it here :)

The Road So Far

Past,
Future;
They all merge into this present moment
I’m a dude on the road –
I dare to disturb the universe
Within these pages
There are snippets and snatches
Of a life lived

- Charles Siboto


Hi there goodbuddy,

Navigating these circular ruins is proving to be more difficult than I imagined it would be and I’m having a hard time getting over my quarter-life crisis. I feel that I should be doing more with my life but I’m not sure what I actually mean by 'more'. I don’t feel like I’m really living at all to be honest. I’m not enjoying my work and studies as much as I did about two years ago and I feel slightly distanced from my friends and family. They all seem to be so much more alive than I am; they have problems that they care about solving and they’re all in ‘touch’ with their lives. When they’re happy they actually really look happy and when they’re in the doldrums they look pathetic... but pathetic in that way depressed people should look, you know. I, on the other hand, just feel murky. There are people out there whose lives are in total ruin and, in my darker moments, I think that even they have it better, they at least have ruins to work with. I just don’t have a clue what I’m doing! I’m neither coming nor going, nothing happens, it’s like I’m stuck in Beckett’s non-story, Waiting for Godot.

Usually I’m the first person to tell you how amazing life is and how much magic there is to be found if one takes some time to look around but that magic can turn out to be black magic at times – one million megatons of destruction. So all I’m saying is to be careful and always prepared for them (that mysterious bunch that I’m pretty sure are The Laughing Men Co.) dropping the bomb rather than not. I’m grateful for the fact that my life has been fairly pleasant up to this point but as a human being I get to whine about everything and nothing once in a while because ultimately I’m an ungrateful little bastard.

Don’t worry, though, it’s not all doom and gloom, I have that nastiest of diseases known as indefatigable optimism and even in my darkest hours I wear a little smile on my face and have the not-at-all-naive belief that the best is yet to come. I have no clue what I am to do about my quarter-life crisis other than to work harder at my studies (which I’m not actually in the mood to do to tell you the truth) and to kick off my Goodbuddies book drive. It’s Springing and I want to enjoy some sun without some stupid voice in the back of my head whispering that I’m an epic failure. They (these people again!) say that one foot up and one foot down is the way to London town... or some such... and right now London town seems as good a destination as any. Some of my favourite Poets lived there and they have the Thames in which to kill oneself if the business of living becomes too much to bear.

With great consideration I’ll choose the path to follow
I’ll pick up my sadness, madness and new-found gladness
And together we’ll walk down that winding path
Singing our tuneless song into the sunset
- Charles Siboto