Respect the Hustle

Hello there, you beautiful, beautiful souls :).

I had a chat with the lovely folks over at Freelance Cape Town some months back and they decided to publish the whole affair on their blog! Here I though we were just having a nice chat between friends. But since we are airing laundry you can go check out their post on my life as an editor and freelancer here.

Stay fresh and as the kids say, respect that good ol' hustle.

The Journey Thus Far . . .

Journeys have been an overarching theme in my life of late, whether it’s at work or at home. Journeys are perhaps one of the overarching themes of all life. That and running a race. All my teachers in primary school loved comparing life to running a race. I digress, though. What I want to get at is that when one is on a journey it is good to stop once in a while and take stock. Just stop, catch your breath, relax and look back at the way you have come. A little break also allows you to look at the road ahead and to plan a bit. I recently joined the wonderful people over at Freelance Cape Town as a freelancer (duh!). Marius Vosloo, the guy who heads the team up, immediately made me feel welcome and at home. They recently launched their blog, called Our Voice and it serves as a platform for creative people to be heard. Marius asked me to write something about my journey as a freelancer thus far. I haven’t looked back on the way I have come in a while and this proved to be the perfect opportunity for me to pause, take stock and reflect on my journey as Charles thus far and to add my voice to theirs and see what sort of music comes of it.

Dear Reader and fellow traveller, sit down and rest your feet a while and let me tell you my story.

My name is Charles Siboto and I am a reader and lover of beautiful stories. I haunt places where I can find good stories. My love for stories has resulted in me becoming someone who works with stories, whether they are my own or stories that other people wish to tell. I mainly prefer stories that other people tell because there is nothing better for me than getting so caught up in someone else’s visions that you just cannot help but love and understand that person a bit more than you did before being moved by their story. I grew up as a reader and from early on I knew that stories are magic and that I want to be a part of that magic when I grow up. I never knew in what capacity I would help make and spread more of this magic but at least I had a general direction in which to start looking for where I can fit in.

I am not even all that picky in my love for stories. I love the stories my grandmother told me as a child and listened to Gcina Mhlope on the radio every Saturday morning on a show she had that was sponsored by Joko tea. I can’t remember the name of the show but I loved the monsters she always told of and how the children in the stories always outsmarted them. I read books, comic books, played video games, watched movies and listen to weird radio dramas. I landed up studying English Literature, Linguistics and Literary studies and I loved most of it and hated some of it. I remember one instance in my fourth year of university where I read the comic book, Final Crisis by Grant Morrison and had one of the greatest moments of my life reading a story and it shook me to my core. Final Crisis is a massive story in its complexity and when Zillo Valla (if my memory serves me well), one of the beings in charge of protecting the multiverse utters the following words it just gets me every single time I read that story: "Behold: we monitors who were faceless once . . . We all have names now, and stories. There are heroes and villains . . . secrets and lovers." Things like this unstitch me. Somewhere in that comic book Superman asks that the words, To Be Continued be carved on his tombstone because humanity’s story never comes to an end, it always carries on. I read and love J.R.R. Tolkien and he taught me that some stories can break your heart and yet still strike you with sorrow as sharp as swords, eucatastrophe he called it, the good ending that breaks your heart.

Stories lead me to where I am today. My name is Charles Siboto and I am an editor of children’s books by day at one of South Africa’s biggest publishing houses. This is a great honour and privilege for me because it was a struggle for me to get my foot in that door but like any good character in your favourite stories, I persevered and always kept ongoing. I am also a freelancer in the sense that I use the majority of my free time to blog and write about books, movies, comic books, video games, technology, lifestyle events and even a dash of politics for various online media. I also offer my services as a proofreader and editor to almost just about anyone who needs it. Interestingly enough, French engineering students turn up on my doorstep with reports for me to proofread on a regular basis. This led me to my exciting new venture, Charles Siboto Bulletproofreading for Interns Abroad. A bit of a mouthful, right? But it’s all very exciting and I hope the venture does well. I have even dabbled in doing voiceovers, officially becoming the voice of one of our book characters at work, Dogtective William.

This, dear Reader and fellow traveller, is where I find myself currently. I am juggling a publishing career and exploring many avenues as a freelancer. I am learning a lot in both spaces and I love it. I’m working with stories and helping people who tell them find ways to tell them as clearly as possible, whether it’s an author writing a book for children or a company that needs content written to succinctly share their vision. My own story remains, always, to be continued . . .

SA launches Charter on Children's Literacy Rights on World Book Day

SA launches Charter on Children's Literacy Rights on World Book Day

Click to view

The wonderful people over at Nal'ibali are launching a Charter on Children's Literacy Rights on World Book Day, Wednesday April 23, 2014. Reading through it made me smile and think how lucky I am to have had the opportunity to grow up reading.

Growing up I was a tall, skinny and nerdy kid. In primary school I was the only black kid in an Afrikaans school just straight after South Africa's first democratic elections. This was, of course, a weird period for everyone. My family was (and still mainly is) poor and I didn't really know it until I was in high school and when I knew it I was so used to not feeling poor that it didn't bother me much.

My life is very similar to that of many black kids from the time but it's also very different. I fell in love with reading, you see. I fell in love with stories and I would get my hands on them by all means possible. I spent hours at the library reading. Getting my first library card was one of the best things that have ever happened to me. That library card gave me access to dragons and spaceships.

I experienced bullying in school and hid in the library with my stories till I learnt a little courage from the lives of bullied characters in books. I read about standing up for yourself and over time got around to doing it. I looked up to the kids in the Narnia books, Tolkien's brave little hobbits and drew strength from Harry Potter and his friends. Many books continue inspire me to have a little more courage.

I experienced racism (from white kids and coloured kids in school) and didn't understand why it was happening. I was different and I didn't know why and so I read about racism and prejudice. I read till I understood enough not to be angry but to try and reach out and build friendships with people who didn't know what to do with the only black kid in school. I ended up making some great friends from all backgrounds in South Africa and many other corners of the world. Racism (from all sides) is still a big issue in South Africa but we are learning to love and understand each other a little over time and we should not allow ourselves to slide back into hatred. Nelson Mandela's writing is a wonderful look at overcoming hatred based on fear of people different from you. In his autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom he wrote:

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” 

When I had no money to do the things that other kids did, I read books and those stories took me to places more interesting than what reality had to offer. I have nothing against reality but I learnt to escape into fantasy realms and space age futures that just have a little more to offer. I learnt how to navigate reality by navigating fantasy and sci-fi.

J.R.R. Tolkien wrote: 

“Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisoned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape? . . . If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!”

This has been true for me. People thought I was weird and life would get hard because I was also a bit shy and awkward but I didn't mind because I had my books and the wonderful stories in them. I rarely got lonely because books kept me company. When given half a chance I did escape with as many people as I could. I talked about stories till people became sick of hearing about them and went and read them for themselves.

I spoke only Afrikaans and Xhosa as a child and learnt English by reading English. This did result in a lot of confusion with pronunciation and funny things tended to happen when I spoke English to native speakers. Now I speak English better than I do Afrikaans or Xhosa! So now I'm reading more in Afrikaans and Xhosa to balance it out.

I learnt more from books than I did from my family, friends and teachers.

I'm still a little shy and awkward. I'm still weird. But I have managed to convince some people that this is alright and so I have many more friends now than I had starting out. I have done more stuff now but I still love books and reading continues to be one of the most enjoyable and informative activities for me.

Books and the stories they contain are the best thing to have happened to me and every child in the world deserves a chance to discover and fall in love with that magic. This is not the case but we should always strive towards reaching that goal. I work in publishing now and work with children's and youth books and that is my way of trying to keep spreading the magic of stories.

Organisations like Nal'ibali, PUKU, WOW and IBBY (who have invited me to join their Executive Committee, which they don't realise is my first step to world dominance) are doing great things to make books easily accessible to children. Help these organisation if you can or just read to a random kid in the street. The latter suggestion could make for a creepy situation though.

My Magical Place: The Book Thief Review

One of The Book Thief’s promotional campaigns was a series of images and teasers posted on their Facebook page related to words and what they mean. One of the themes throughout the story is words and what they mean to people; how beautiful words are and how ugly they are. Words are more powerful weapons than guns and bombs after all.

One of the words that were used on the Facebook campaign is wonder:  {won·der} n. surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, or inexplicable.

This is the reaction one gets from watching this film. The Book Thief will make you smile, cry, laugh and then leave your heart broken with its haunting beauty. As a high ranking member of the Book Snob Society I can find reasons why the film adaptation of this story does not do it justice but those reasons are ultimately shallow because this adaptation is really good and captures the important themes of the book.

The story is narrated by Death (Roger Allam) who is surprisingly pleasant given the nature of his job, which he seems to dislike. Set in Nazi Germany from April 1938 the plot follows the life of Liesel Meminger (Sophie Nélisse) as she adjusts to a new life on Himmel Street in the fictional town of Molching with her foster parents, Hans and Rosa Hubermann (Geoffrey Rush and Emily Watson). This is the story of a German girl trying to make sense of her small, fragile life amidst the horrors of Nazi Germany leading up to World War 2. Liesel finds a solace of sorts in books and words and tries to make sense of her circumstances through them. She doesn’t understand all the hate going around and no one really knows how to answer why so much hate can spread like a disease.

Many stories of this terrible era in humanity’s history are told from the viewpoint of Jewish people or other people who were affected by the atrocities committed by the Nazis but this is the story of a small German town just trying to survive when the world has gone mad. Sophie Nélisse is wonderful as Liesel Meminger! She plays the role with the utmost grace. The rest of the cast also deliver stellar performances. Geoffrey Rush’s portrayal of Hans is sincere and makes you love the man who teaches Liesel to read, to love and to be courageous albeit seemingly foolish in the dreadful time they live in. Rosa is stern and rules the Hubermann household with an iron fist but you can tell she loves them all. Max (Ben Schnetzer), the young Jewish man that the Hubermanns hide in their basement manages to convey a lot of sadness and joy in that cramped space and is one of the characters to steals the show. My personal favourite character is Liesel’s best friend, Rudy Steiner (Nico Liersch). This lemon haired boy is all heart and you can’t help but love him.

This is a great movie. It’s not best movie depicting the period but it does offer a slightly different perspective into it and it is beautifully shot. The oppressive Nazi propaganda is a constant backdrop to the story and it constantly reminds you of the bleakness of the place the story is set in. The music by John Williams adds quite a lot to the tone if this film and is moving.

Rudy envisioning himself as Jesse Owens

Some people feel that it’s too sad. I don’t think so. It is sad but it also shows how normal people overcome terrible situations and how kind and selfless they can be. I think the story, like all good stories, is what J.R.R. Tolkien called eucatastrophe – the good tale that breaks your heart.

Put some tissues in your pocket or handbag and give The Book Thief a watch. It’s a good movie. That is all.

To-do List

It's 2014 and this means only one thing! It's time to draw up a to-do list. That's important, right? How else will I know what to do over the next few months? Yes, a to-do list is totally legit.

Let's jump right into it then. Any weird and wild suggestions like world domination are most welcome on your part.

I have two really big things that hold me back in life; two really big hurdles that I must overcome in order to be a cooler kid than the rest. Laziness. Fear. I hate these fuckers with every string of my being (I'm a String Theorist at heart)! I want to do more with my time and energy. I need to do more with my time and energy. I worry about time a lot and always feel I should be using it as efficiently as possible. It's just that I don't because I'm too busy lying on the couch worrying about time. It's pretty much like that play, Waiting for Godot, it's goddamn awful! Not that I don't have a fond place in my heart for that play or lying on couches. I might have to see a doctor about this come to think of it. I am lazy but I also almost always feel very fatigued even if I don't do anything too strenuous.

So first on the list: overcome laziness. This is an ongoing affair that I'll have to deal with everyday of my life. Everyday I will wake up and fight the good fight, the bad fight and even the losing fight. Have you ever read J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion? No? You really should. Put it on your to-do list. At any rate, the High Elves in the stories are fighting what they call The Long Defeat against the first dark lord, Morgoth. They are involved in a war that spans thousands of years with this one guy... entity or whatever you want to call him and they bear it with the utmost grace. Sure, they lose their composure and do some stupid things like betray each other but overall they hold out till the very end. My battle with laziness shall be on that scale! Minus the thousands of years. A visit to the good ol' doctor for a check-up also goes under this entry on the list. Might as well see if all my parts are functioning as they should.

Bon Iver's cover of Peter Gabriel's Come Talk to Me always echoes the words, 'Whatever fear invents, I swear it makes no sense' in my head. Those words are so very true but fear has a power over people, over me. I know lots of the things that I should do but I am scared and that is not a good way to live. I have huge fears that tower over me like buildings and I have small fears that follow me around like shadows. This is another Long Defeat I'm engaging in. I will fight fear on every front of my life. I will stumble and I will fall but I will always get up and fight. I will crush my fears. I will crush them in 2014, I will crush them in 2024. Whatever the year, as long as I'm here and breathing I will crush fear!

(Dramatic much?)
(Also, check this out: What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid)

Managing just those two entries on my list will open so much more of the world to me. There are so many things that I want to do that I'm either too lazy, scared or both to do.

I am going to write.

I'm lazy and I'm scared though.

I am going to write magical stories for children because I'm a child at heart and believe that stories have the power to enchant and to teach wisdom. I am going to write stories for adults because the world needs more adults that are more like children in terms of exercising their imaginations. I am going to write poetry that makes me fall in love because I think words can be as beautiful as girls in summer dresses and pretty sandals.

I am going to read more.

I am going to to read more books that make me think about our world; how beautiful it is, how ugly it is. I am going to read more books that make me want to become a better person in our world. I am going to read books that make me laugh, cry and totally astound me. I am going to read books that shake my beliefs and make me see beyond my currents state. I am going to read more comic books because they make me happy and I think they are under-appreciated for the Joy they can bring. I am going to tell you about these books at parties, on the bus and wherever I meet you. I am going to write about these books on this blog.

I am going to watch more movies (I already watch a whole lot).

I am going to watch all of Woody Allen's movies because I met a lovely girl who started me out on them. I am going to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind because it's her favourite movie and I realise that I actually have seen it and have been confusing it it with Finding Neverland in my head. I still don't remember what happened in it though. I had better just watch both movies.

I am going to run.

I am going to run like I did early last year. I am going to run through all of Cape Town. I don't want to run races or marathons; I am going to run to feel the life in me. I am going to exercise like I did early last year because it made me feel invested in my body. I am going to hike more. It's difficult for me but I am going to do it more because Cape Town has some beautiful views that take my breath away.

I am going to eat more and eat better because food is just amazing.

I am going to start a religion that honours pigs for being so goddamn tasty! I want pigs to understand that I love them even as I eat them. One day I will buy three or four pigs and will ensure that they are the happiest pigs in all of creation as a sign of my appreciation. I will refrain from eating them...

I am going to be happier and  I want for my friends, family and random strangers to be happy. I am going to work harder at work and do more with the time that I spend here because I love publishing. I am going to help make books that will make children grin from ear to ear.

I am going to save money because I met so many wonderful people from all over the world and I'd like to visit them all. I've fallen in love with a wonderful girl and I am going to go over to Amsterdam and kiss her.

I am going to hug my grandmother more, tease my sister more and tell my mother that I love her more.

So much to do!

I am going to play more video games because they are cool and I am going to hang out on the beach more because the ocean comforts and scares me.

Above all I am going to take Neil Gaiman's advice and live as only I can. I am going to make glorious mistakes and I am going to be kind.

I want for you to be happy because I love you for taking the time to read this. I might know who you are and I might not but I love you.

Have a great year :).

The SA Nerd Scene Dons Its Vader Mask

We're rocking our Vader mask and we look good.

It's almost two years ago now that I speculated that the nerds are taking over in an article I wrote for Bizcommunity. Much like House Tyrell the movement has carried on growing strong since then -- minus the floral motif. All things nerdy are in everyone's face all the time and we love it. It's hard to believe that there was a time when people used to make fun of us.

Having always been an odd mixture of nerdy recluse who spends Friday evenings reading comic books and socialite who spends Friday evenings drinking too much and hugging strangers has given me a bit of insight into what nerds like and what so-called 'normal' people like. Nerds are a hardcore breed for the most part, we like details and getting the small things right in our stories. I remember getting into an argument with a sales person at a bookstore over a John Howe illustration on the cover of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lays of Beleriand some years back. She claimed that it was Sauron battling Aragorn (as if that ever happened) on the cover when it was clearly Morgoth's epic battle with Fingolfin. I lost my shit! We also get excited by small things like a cameo appearance by people or characters we admire in pretty much non-consequential scenes in movies or books. It's such weird things that make sensible people want to throw chairs at us. Normal folks, on the other hand, seem to just want some nice, relaxing fun. They don't give a damn whether Ben Affleck's going to be the next Batman or not as long as there is a Batman to enjoy. 

I find myself in the middle these days. I love how my nerdy side always wants more from the media I consume. I want to know about the old wars in Steven Erikson's Malazan books and I want to know what secret elixir he takes with his tea. I am also a whole lot calmer about whether or not the next Dragon Age game will be delayed or not. As long as I get it. I don't mind not playing GTA V till Christmas season when I have an Xbox again. It'll still be there and just as much fun. Let Ben Affleck be Batman and if he sucks let's kill him afterwards.

Nerdy culture is merging with the mainstream media people consume and that's cool. Pretty girls are wearing Batman t-shirts and jock types are drinking beer with nerd types whilst playing FIFA 13 or the latest iteration of Call of Duty. Everyone's having a good time doing cool and nerdy stuff together. Rainbow Nation vibes all-round.

I attended some interesting events and met some wonderful people in the last few months and it made me realise South Africans have arrived at the nerd party in a big way. We love coming late to the party and then just showing off about how cool we are. We're rocking our Vader mask and we look good.

Living in Cape Town and working at a publishing house meant I had no excuse to miss the 2013 edition of the Open Book Festival -- especially since work offered to pay for any of the events on the programme that I wished to attend. I opted for the SF and Fantasy sort of stuff, of course. They also had a comics festival running for the duration of the main festival and it was worth popping into. South African artists and writers were there sharing their experiences and running workshops for those interested in honing their craft.

Lauren Beukes was a huge presence at the fest and spoke about the state of SF and Fantasy in the country along with some badass writers like Charlie Human and Alex Latimer. She also gave out some very useful tips for aspiring writers looking to break into the writing industry. Be cheeky she told us, but don't be an asshat. One of my jobs as an editorial assistant is receiving manuscripts and it's disheartening how many people don't follow the simple instructions on our website, which results in us just chucking manuscripts in our furnace in the basement. You want your publisher to like you so be cool. Lauren, a publisher (forgot his name) and her agent (also forgot his name. These are the guys working tirelessly and selflessly in the shadows) related some horror stories of the creepy things writers do to try and get their work published. Don't be creepy, you guys. Or at least hide your creepiness and whip it out when you've made a name for yourself.

It's pretty rockstar to have homegrown SF stuff to read like Lauren Beukes' The Shining Girls (set in Chicago but still homegrown), which reads like one of Dean Koontz's classic 80s thrillers. I am a huge fan of villains I can feel a bit icky about liking. Koontz was a master of this in the 80s/90s and my high school days were spent admiring his serial killers and feeling all sorts of guilty about it. I probably still suffer from some complex as a result. Lauren Beukes' villain, Harper is of that breed and I liked that a lottle.

Charlie Human has Apocalypse Now Now out and it's a must-read and you are welcome to eat it as well afterwards if you're that way inclined. The story's set in Cape Town and it sounds like madness in the streets! Crazy shit like a16-year-old dude running a porn syndicate, a supernatural bounty hunter and a West African glowing man. You know you want some of that goodness in your life.

Alex Latimer's The Space Race is what I really want to get my filthy paws on! The idea of Afrikaners running a secret space programme out in the desert tickles the nonsense out of my fancy. First thing I thought when I heard about this book was Apartheid in space! Which I guess is not unheard of in SF... Think Orson Scott Card's Speaker for the Dead. Mad levels of Apartheid in that book. Also, Alex drew me a tiger when I met him at the Open Book Fest. Your argument is thus invalid!

My boss lady sent me link to a new South African indie publisher, Fox & Raven Publishing and they're pretty rad-ical! They describe themselves as: Artisan independent publishers of speculative fiction, non-fiction and many things in between. They had a slot at the Open Fest that I didn't catch all of and that's sad. I did get to tag along to tea with the dude behind the magic though, Marius du Plessis and he's a great guy who seems to have some great plans for adding to the SF and Fantasy scene here in SA. Look out for them and their stuff. Write some good short stories for them and give them tea if they think it's good enough to publish.

Comic books are like potato chips -- I just can't stop eating/reading them! (Yes, I read potato chips and eat comic books.) There are days when my life's as busy as a dumbledore or I'm just plain lazy and I feel bad for not reading as much as I'd like. Comics books are my salvation during such periods because I'm never too busy or lazy to read them. Last year saw the launch of a South African graphic novel, Rebirth. The premise: What if Jan Van Riebeeck (South Africa’s Christopher Columbus) had been a vampire? What if the Dutch East India Company, pioneering colossus of international trade in the 17th century, was in fact controlled by a Council of Vampires? Sounds pretty cool doesn't it? Yes, and it looks pretty too. I must be honest and say that I'm not the biggest fan of this book but Josh Ryba, Daniel Browde and Thenji Nkosi's effort still deserves mad hatter love.

I also recently got around to finishing Lauren Beukes and Inaki Miranda's take on Rapunzel in the Fairest spin-off of Bill Willingham's Fables series. Fairest: The Hidden Kingdom plays off in Japan for the most part and it's amazing how much Japanese lore is captured in the story. Inaki Miranda's artwork is some of the coolest I've seen in comic books. I recommend this wholeheartedly and it's not because I might have a crush on a kitsune. Lauren seems to enjoy keeping busy because I see she has a story, Birdie (illustrated by Gerhard Human) in a Vertigo anthology titled The Witching Hour. The story's set in a futuristic Cape Town and seems to contain some powerfully dark juju.

It embarrasses me to tell you that I've not seen Neil Blomkamp's Elysium yet because I was busy eating toast or something and the reviews weren't that great and I'm swayed by public opinion. The guy gave us District 9 so it can't be that bad. It also sounds a lot like Bioshock Infinite. It's on the list for the next movie night.

Speaking of Bioshock, rAge was last week. I missed it, of course, being in Cape Town and doing things like Rocking the Daisies. rAge is always amazing and brings together some of the coolest gamers, cosplayers, tabletop gaming enthusiasts, otakus, comic book nerds and confused looking girlfriends and boyfriends who've been dragged there by their nerdy better halves. rAge is the place where you see that SA has an amazing and vibrant nerdy community and that we are some cool people.

There are probably a lot of stuff I didn't mention because I don't know enough about them or anything at all. Take the indie game development scene as an example, I know it exists but I have no clue what they're getting up to. Better people than me do and it's best to always look and ask around regarding what everyone is up to.

There are always some cool happenings somewhere near you so get your nerd swag on :).

Horses and Getting Back On Them

Now that I think about it (I've been putting this off), moving down to Cape Town at the drop of a hat has been quite a mission. Most of my experiences for the last three weeks have been new to me: new job, new location (this is still not settled yet), new people, new Apple Mac to get used to at the office (I still want to throw it out of the window) and some other things I can't think of now. All this means that my routines and structures have been thrown out of the old window.

Road down to the Promenade, Bantry Bay

I've been very into gym but that's on hold now till I finally move into the place I'll actually be living in in the Gardens/Vredehoek area. I tried setting up some sort of routine but between living in a guesthouse for a week and now a backpackers that's failed miserably. Running's been my only salvation in terms of exercise even though my plan was to kick up the gym thing a notch and tone down on the running. But I need some sort of outlet and running along the Promenade for the first week in Cape Town and now having discovered a mountain route near Observatory has been and continues to be very scenic. My diet's also shot to hell! I've been living on cereal and take out food for three weeks and I've only cooked once. First of all I'm very lazy to cook, I've been busy and lastly it's a waste for me to go stock up on groceries when I am going to be moving in a few days time. I try at least make the food I eat be clean in terms of nutrition but it's not working out all that great.

Running route in Newlands Forest

Having a new job that I spend most of my day at actually doing things (and adjusting to speaking Afrikaans all day) also means that my freelance and recreational writing pursuits have been benched for a while. This has been upsetting me the most as I was starting get my writing out into the media world and people were responding positively to it. This morning I told myself that it's best to accept that till I move to Gardens and get settled in my writing will be on hold. I think I've even managed to convince myself to look at it as a little holiday. I was looking forward to covering some E3 news for Xbox 360 Gamer SA and that didn't happen but hey! It's the gaming industry and till the Xbox One and Playstation 4 actually do get released there'll be lots of news to dig up for speculation's sake.

I'm a movie fanatic and even that's taken a knock. I still haven't seen Star Trek: Into Darkness and Man of Steel :( and I had the time this last weekend but then I was broke from just living in good ol' Cape Town. I'm even sad about things like Oblivion (Meh, Tom Cruise) and After Earth (Yay, Will Smith).

My bookworm ways haven't deteriorated to naught at least and that's a good thing. When all else fails in my life there's always J.R.R. Tolkien to read more about. I'm reading Tom Shippey's Tolkien: Author of the Century and after getting passed the rather tedious Foreword I'm enjoying the book. Everything by Tolkien and about Tolkien is food to my soul and I happen to be in possession of a very ravenous soul.

That's more or less what's happening with me and it's amazing and frustrating all at once. As Fall Out Boy (those amazing boys) would say, let the good time roll in case God doesn't show.

Letters to God #7: The Lord's Prayer

Pieces of Letters to God

Our Father, which art in heaven

Good day Big Guy in the sky :).

Hallowed by thy Name.

Thy kingdom come.

Well then, here we are and it's good to be here - to be so near You. I like looking up at the blue sky and know that Thou art there. Get it? You're up there making beautiful art. I read that we've managed to create multiverses in a lab the other day. This is probably old news to You, what with having created multiverses from the get go - Big Bang and all that. I imagine that You're proud though, Your creatures take after You. We live to create, or as Professor Tolkien more aptly put it, sub-create. If You've kept up with the news You know it's all doom and gloom down here - all rape and murder. That's what we do when we're not sub-creating. People are saying it's the end of days. I say it's the gentle and kind invasion of Your kingdom. It's like the bit in Final Crisis where non-existence invades existence - only it's gentle and kind. We're not being gentle and kind about it though. We're quite brutal in reaction to gentle and kind things. Do me a huge favour, would Ya? Carry Anene, Reeva and every single human being (everyone who was a potential generator of goodness beyond measure) who tragically passed away lately gently into your bosom. Send the Lady on the Grey to bear them away on her steed:

'He is gentle enough to bear the mightiest of you away on his broad back, and strong enough for the smallest of you' - Neil Gaiman.

Also, please forgive the folk who took their lives, even... Or rather, especially when we can't.

Thy will be done in earth,

As it is in heaven

This is the bit about Your will and our free will that I don't understand so well. I get the end bit where evil will find that it has been serving You all along. What I don't get is what's happening in between - it gets murky there. Our will is pretty much reigning in the earth sphere right now. I'm not too sure what how the governance is top-side but down here it's Jacob Zuma.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgives us our trespasses,

As we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil.

Padre Nostro

Padre nostro che sei nei cieli,
sia santificato il tuo Nome,
venga il tuo Regno,
sia fatta la tua Volontà
come in cielo così in terra.
Dacci oggi il nostro pane quotidiano,
e rimetti a noi i nostri debiti
come noi li rimettiamo ai nostri debitori,
e non ci indurre in tentazione,
ma liberaci dal Male.

At this point the whole world needs a hug. I'm not sure about the rest of the multiverse but give them a hug too. There's a lot of pain and suffering doing the rounds. People are in great need of daily bread, daily hugs and just good ol' fashioned daily love. Hook us up, ol' G. We need a whole new level of strongs for the forgiving some trespasses bit. Folks is nasty out there lately and John Legend's approach seems to be the most attractive: "Now I’m not afraid to do the Lord's work, You say vengeance is his but I'm'ma do it first." It's a bit of a steep learning curve as You can see. I can't speak for the rest of humanity on this one but I need my trespasses forgiven. At the rate I'm going I'm a burglar! Temptation is pretty much everywhere and hard to avoid. You've seen the second The Lord of the Rings movie, right? There's the scene where Gollum's leading Frodo and Sam through the Dead Marshes and tells them not to look at the dead faces in the water. That's pretty much the first thing Frodo does! They aren't even cute hobbit girls in revealing dresses, just creepy, dead faces and Frodo's tempted to look. Temptation is rough. Deliverance from evil is straight up necessary though, hey. We need every form of escape we can get from evil's gaping maw.

That's it for now, Big Guy. Later times.

For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever

Amen.

Home(less)

“Almost thought we’d made it home / But we don’t know this place at all”

-          Fire Fire, Flyleaf

I’m very preoccupied with the idea of home and homelessness; these binary opposites seem to be one of the resounding themes of my life. Both states have a push/pull relationship in my life. I struggle with the idea of home because I’ve never felt at home anywhere I’ve ever been – my soul has been restless for as long as I have been breathing (which is not really that long).

“All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own.”

-          Hebrews 11 v13 -14

I catch glimpses of what I imagine home is all the time, especially in books. J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle-earth feels the most like home to me. Every time I read any of Tolkien’s books I think, That’s it right there. I catch glimpses of home at home (where I live) some days but that doesn’t happen often. I like my people and whatnot but where I live is not it for the most part. I don’t feel that I belong here and yet I believe it’s necessary that I stopped here and learned what I needed to learn for whatever reasons. I find glimpses of home in religion, especially Christianity and I’m inclined towards believing that restless souls must have a place where they find rest. Was not thirst created to be quenched after all? The theme of home is also quite prevalent in music and my ears tend to gravitate towards that sort of musical space. Even my playlist is titled Home.

Then there’s the state of homelessness that I fear and am intrigued by because I feel I’m in it somehow. I’m fascinated by homeless individuals and when I can talk to them I do but they’re not very forthcoming about the details of their lives. What I want to know is Day 1 of being homeless, what’s that like? Do you carry whatever luggage you have and just sit down at some point, like the ‘detective’ in Paul Auster’s City of Glass? What drives a person to homelessness? Is it a gradual series of unfortunate events? Or can it be a sudden, unexpected thing? Bam! You’re homeless. I’m lead to believe that it’s mainly a gradual sort of thing because of how I sometimes feel about my life. I think it’s a very real possibility that I could be homeless one day. I worry about this shit. No one really believes me but they don’t know me like they think they do. I know me and homelessness could happen to me. Life isn’t anyone’s friend – it will take you wherever circumstances and your actions dictate. Some of us aren’t going to walk away from this without wounds that cut down to the very core of our beings – it just doesn’t work that way. Charles Siboto is a fairly intelligent young man but as a result of consequences both foreseen and unforeseen he became homeless. That shit right there could happen. The thing with homeless people is that they’re like the ultimate ninja of the world. No one really notices them. Sure we see that they’re there but we go out of our way to pretend that they don’t exist. I see them and want to know what they’re about. I need to know. So I can be prepared.

In addition to the physical ideas of home and the lack thereof there are the conceptual and metaphorical states and I often wonder how they relate to one another.  Take as an instance the fact that I live in a physical structure with my people – that’s home and yet I feel it’s not. When I’m weary of the world that’s where I want to retreat to but it’s still not home at all, it’s merely shelter. I still prefer it to anyone else’s home even though it’s still lacking in something essential. For my mom where we live is not home, for her home is Sterkspruit, where she was born in the Eastern Cape. She seems to know without a shadow of a doubt that that’s where she belongs. For me Sterkspruit is even less like home than where I live. Technically speaking I have a home but spiritually I don’t feel that I belong there. It’s very fascinating how that plays out.

I am spiritually homeless and so are many people in the world. People do strange things to find home – African Americans come to Africa to find their roots but I think they find that they wouldn’t have a great time living in most African countries more often than not. Some of them probably find something they’re looking for, I don’t know. The human race is spiritually homeless I’d wager. It’s that whole Matrix idea where you have something stuck in your mind like a splinter you can’t remove. That’s what it feels like. Some days it’s an annoying feeling and on other days, good days, it’s all fine and you don’t mind at all. One of the main reasons for things like religion and stories is to find home. ¡Mayday! says, “Find yourself a heaven and an angel you can hold / They say the world is ending but we really never know”. Unlike Tolkien’s Elves, whose existence is tied to the world and its fate, ours is a separate and unknown fate. We are merely visitors in the world.

Anyhoo, that’s my take on it. God, even E.T. needed to find home so it must be an important endeavour. That’s if for now, I’m er... going home.