Januworry, Februworry, March on, in April I dream of spring

Januworry, Februworry, March on, in April I dream of a spring in my step

“Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther...And then one fine morning—So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

I started the year with a heart full of hope,

It too exactly one day for that thing with feathers to fly away

It slipped right through my fingers

I honestly thought I had it, you know

New year, new me

But, no,

New year,

Just me making old mistakes

I couldn’t outrun my demons,

I couldn’t stretch my arms out far enough to touch my dream

There was no fine morning for me

Just dark thoughts of death

And being haunted by debt

It all came crashing down

And I was ready to exit stage left

I managed to hold on, though,

Somehow

Januworry became Februworry

I sought help

I bared my soul and it hurt

I accepted help

I put aside my pride

I Marched on

Started again

Not anew but again,

Picking up pieces of myself,

I'm still puzzling them together

Maybe the winds of winter are dying down

I dream of a spring in my step in April