Running Away From Home

"They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you." - Philip Larkin, This Be The Verse

Okay, so I've tried this whole running away thing before... around 12 years ago. I had it all planned out too. BMX? Check. Sandwhich wrapped in a polka dot handkerchief? Check. Grand departure speech to make my mother miss me and feel guilty about shouting at me? Check. Too bad my mother reacted in a rather laclustre manner to the whole business. All she said was, "Okay, see you around." WTF?! My grand plan of making her miss me and regret letting me go for the rest of her life failed when, a few hours into my adventure, I got hungry and pedalled home to get more food. Only to be greeted by my mom and her sarcastic remark: "So, you're back?" Now, at age 24, and with my life in the toilet I've got this running away business figured out. Don't even mess with me. My plan is rock solid. I'm running away to become homeless in Jeffreys Bay, like I had planned almost 3 years ago. I'm going to become a surfer/bum.