Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Running Away From Home

"They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you." - Philip Larkin, This Be The Verse Okay, so I've tried this whole running away thing before... around 12 years ago. I had it all planned out too. BMX? Check. Sandwhich wrapped in a polka dot handkerchief? Check. Grand departure speech to make my mother miss me and feel guilty about shouting at me? Check. Too bad my mother reacted in a rather laclustre manner to the whole business. All she said was, "Okay, see you around." WTF?! My grand plan of making her miss me and regret letting me go for the rest of her life failed when, a few hours into my adventure, I got hungry and pedalled home to get more food. Only to be greeted by my mom and her sarcastic remark: "So, you're back?" Now, at age 24, and with my life in the toilet I've got this running away business figured out. Don't even mess with me. My plan is rock solid. I'm running away to become homeless in Jeffreys Bay, like I had planned almost 3 years ago. I'm going to become a surfer/bum.


stretch mark removal cream said...

The picture and the caption is so cute..I can relate.

Mike Dempsey said...

This stuff is hillarious, keep writing!

The Editor said...

I just stumbled across your blog and love your style of writing. Very entertaining way to waste time at work!

asonofgod said...

I think every body should leave home and experience the TRUE life.

You may go hungry occasionally for 2 or 3 days sometimes but so what? You learn that a few missed meals will help you, not harm you.

Everybody that I know but me, thinks backwards.

If I felt better, I would be in heaven RIGHT NOW. Would U like to go with me? Here is a ticket: www.facebook.com/feedthepoor2