Wednesday, 1 February 2023

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, A Study of Grief

“In my culture, death is not the end. It’s more of a stepping-off point. You reach out with both hands and Bast and Sekhmet, they lead you into a green veld where you can run forever.”


Save the date. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever will be available for streaming on Disney+ from 01 February. The film had (has, depending on where you are) a solid theatrical run since its late October release last year and will be a welcome addition to Disney+'s Marvel library. On 08 February you can check out Marvel Studios' Assembled: The Making of Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. If you haven’t seen the film yet, you are in for a treat.


Marvel's Phase 4 kicked off with the Disney+ show, Wanda Vision, whose theme was grief. Wanda loses Vision at the hands of Thanos and the grief of that loss tears her apart. We learn later that she is the Scarlet Witch, a being of unlimited power. Wanda uses that power to trap a town full of people in a bubble (well, a hex). She works through her grief by turning the town into a sitcom and controlling the citizens throughout various decades, depicting the family life she wished she could have had with Vision and their (imaginary?) children. The big problem with that show was that Wanda's grief was larger than life for a character we hadn't had a chance to connect with on such a deep emotional level and with whom she had a largely off-screen romance.


Phase 4 takes place in a post-Thanos world and many of the shows and films that make up this phase are hit-or-miss affairs because the Marvel Cinematic Universe has become too large and unruly. It's become a cinematic multiverse. Marvel's winning formula of telling interconnected stories has trapped them into filling their properties with references to other films and shows, cameos from other MCU characters and planting Easter Eggs. That makes it hard to tell a focused story. I digress, though. What I wanted to point out about Phase 4 is that its overarching theme has been loss and grief. Our heroes defeated Thanos but lost friends, family and lovers doing it.


Wakanda Forever presents us with the biggest loss in the MCU. We lost the Black Panther in real life. We lost the great Chadwick Boseman to colon cancer in 2020. He played the graceful King T'Challa knowing that he was dying and sharing that knowledge and suffering only with his close family. Director Ryan Coogler takes the real grief that the cast and fans feel at the loss of Boseman and weaves it into this film's story. The screenplay for Wakanda Forever had to be rewritten after Boseman's death and Coogler wrote the grief of his passing into it. The film feels a little messy as a result, as messy as grief is.





Chadwick Boseman's spirit lives in this story. Wakanda may not be real and the Black Panther may be a fictional character but this story does what great stories do and lets us feel the real grief of losing someone who made a positive impact on our lives. Is this a perfect film? No. As I said, it's messy and you can tell that the script was rewritten and it’s bloated with the Marvel baggage all the MCU films have to carry. What it is, though, is a film with a lot of heart and genuine emotion. Boseman's death feels as unexpected in Wakanda as it was for most people in real life and everything is set off balance as a result.


The film kicks off with T'Challa dying from an unknown illness and his sister Shuri racing against the clock to find a way to save him. She fails and instead of being at his side in his last moments, she was in her lab. This film largely focuses on Shuri's grief, hurt and anger. She is young, impulsive and fiercely intelligent. Her grief is a reckless fire that burns down everyone in its path. Friend and foe alike. Letitia Wright plays Shuri's struggling character with heartfelt sincerity. It's no spoiler that Shuri takes up the mantle of Black Panther and does it in a way that shows she's been thrown into a role that's too big for her and that she's struggling to fill big shoes. Wright's performance captures that insecurity because the actress is thrust into the main role in this film because of Chadwick Boseman's passing.


Angela Bassett's performance as Queen Ramonda, on the other hand, is a masterclass in acting. Wow! Just wow! She commands the screen in every scene she's in as the Queen who's lost everything and has to show the world that Wakanda isn't on its knees after the loss of its leader, her son. Her speech asking whether she hasn't given everything for Wakanda sent shivers down my spine. Her Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actress – Motion Picture is more than deserved. Most of our favourite characters are back for the second outing, along with new faces. The gorgeous Lupita Nyong’o is back as Nakia, the Wakandan spy. Danai Gurira’s Okoye and Wakanda’s greatest warrior has become an MCU staple. She and her Dora Milaje warriors are as no-nonsense as ever. Winston Duke is back as wiser and more grounded M'Baku and Martin Freeman reprises his role as CIA agent Everett Ross.


South African actress, Connie Chiume reprises her role as Zawavari, previously the Mining Tribe Elder, but now the Elder Statesman. Trevor Noah also reprises his role as Shuri's AI assistant, Griot. While on the topic of South Africa, Xhosa is the official language of Wakanda but the American and British cast seemed to have gotten worse at the pronunciation of the Xhosa words than in the first film. Maybe they didn't have a speech coach this time, I don't know.


In his first MCU appearance in Captain America: Civil War, T'Challa says to Natasha Romanoff, “In my culture, death is not the end. It’s more of a stepping-off point. You reach out with both hands and Bast and Sekhmet, they lead you into a green veld where you can run forever.” This film asks all of us to take these words to heart and to make the best of our lives right here and now because our loved ones are not truly gone. Wakanda may be grieving but the wolves are at the door looking to get their hands on their precious resource, vibranium.


The search for vibranium is what brings the world in contact with the villain (or is it anti-villain?) of the piece, Namor and his people. In the comic books, he is the king of Atlantis and known as Namor the Sub-Mariner. Ryan Coogler and his team changed his comic book origins to fit in better with the world as it is set up in the MCU. The wonderful Mexican actor, Tenoch Huerta Mejía (you might know him from Narcos: Mexico) portrays Namor as the king of Talokan, an ancient civilization of underwater-dwelling people, who refer to him as the feathered serpent god K'uk'ulkan. The introduction of Talokan is where Wakanda Forever shines. We've seen the wonder that is Wakanda and now we're being taken to a breathtaking kingdom under the ocean dripping with Mayan symbolism. Wakandans avoided colonisation by hiding their country and Namor's people escaped the enslaving of the Mayan civilisation by the Spanish when their god led them into the ocean, where they built their vibranium-rich kingdom. Namor will do everything in his power to keep the surface dwellers from discovering Talokan and its vibranium. Given the colonial history, do you blame him? Representation matters and Wakanda Forever does a great job of shining the spotlight on underrepresented people in Hollywood.


The introduction of Riri Williams to set her up for her Ironheart Disney+ series is where the film gets bloated and is bogged down by MCU baggage. The character is an MIT student and genius inventor whose presence feels shoehorned in so that by the time we see her in her show, we can all be, yeah, I know her! Actress, Dominique Thorne does the best she can with what she is being given and you can’t expect more.




Music was an important feature of Black Panther and is equally important in Wakanda Forever. Ludwig Göransson returns as the composer and his scoring captures the grief of the film perfectly. The lead single, "Lift Me Up" by Rihanna was written by Tems, Ludwig Göransson, Rihanna and Ryan Coogler, as a tribute to Boseman. Tems' cover of Bob Marley's "No Woman, No Cry", which was used in the film's teaser trailer, was the song that got me in the feels.


Wakanda Forever is a wonderful sequel to the global phenomenon that was Black Panther and a beautiful tribute to Chadwick Boseman.


Tuesday, 22 June 2021

#YouthMatters: General disappointment, anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theories and misinformation

My original article here.

22 June 2021


"A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes." - Mark Twain (but likely not.)
Like those work emails we all send, I hope that this #YouthMonth2021 piece finds you well, but it’s probably finding you frustrated and generally disappointed. The winter chills are settling in across the country, load shedding looms large and Malume Cyril called the dreaded family meeting and put us on Level 3. The third wave of Covid-19 has crashed upon us, we’re wondering when we’ll get vaccinated and a cousin on our family WhatsApp group has suddenly become an expert on nanotech overnight and knows how Bill Gates is using the vaccines as the delivery method to control us. Also, remind me, do we have a health minister again? It’s a tough time to be positive.

Charles Siboto - Source: Supplied
Charles Siboto - Source: Supplied

We’ve been living through the ‘Panna cotta’ since the beginning of 2020 and so many levels of lockdown later, there’s a feeling of frustration and Covid-19 fatigue in the air. Which is understandable, of course. I mean, it’s our first time living through a pandemic on this scale and we’re still learning how to cope with it. Memes and TikTok seem to be the go-to coping mechanism. Almost every aspect of our daily lives has been changed by this pandemic in a relatively short space of time. It makes sense that we’re all slightly on edge. But while most of us have masked up and hunkered down with the hope of making it through these unprecedented times, voices spreading conspiracy theories and misinformation, in general, seem to be ringing louder. What is worrying, though, is how many young people are adding their voices to this choir.

#YouthMonth: What do all these #movements want?
#YouthMonth: What do all these #movements want?

One of the things that the outbreak of Covid-19 has made clear is that all of us are in the same boat, whether we like it or not. What happens in China affects all of us. What happens in the US affects all of us. What happens in South Africa affects all of us...

BY CHARLES SIBOTO 12 JUN 2020


Starting blocks remain unequal


You know what, though, I do get it. Promises of a brighter future were made to the born-free generation. Some of those promises have been delivered, we can admit. Many of us who grew up poor are doing better than our parents. Most of that progress can be attributed to access to education. But the starting blocks remain unequal between Black kids and white kids, rich kids and poor kids. Our trajectories are different as a result. It doesn’t help that our government isn’t coming to the party.
Economic change takes time, we get it, but blatant corruption and poor governance frustrate the process at great cost to the quality of young people’s lives. Add Covid-19 to this and things become bleaker.
Poor kids are getting their degrees and then going back home to their impoverished conditions and it’s a Herculean challenge to get out. Wealthy kids are getting their degrees, going back home, jamming some Playstation for a bit while they look for work. If they can’t get work through normal channels (which is currently rough for everyone), maybe they can lean on a family connection (which is fine, it is what it is) and if that doesn’t work maybe even go try abroad. Kids in the middle class, if you can even call it that in SA, are in the precarious position of having some resources but also facing the real challenge of maybe being unemployed long enough that it puts a strain on those resources to the point that they run out. These are real, concrete problems. Especially during a very real pandemic that’s costing lives and livelihoods.

Has youth unemployment really become another pandemic in SA?
Has youth unemployment really become another pandemic in SA?

For the past few weeks, I have been listening to both political and economic analysts to try and understand how bad this situation is. Some analysts have deemed the state of youth unemployment in SA as not only dire, but as one of the pandemics along with gender-based violence (GBV), Covid-19 and others...

BY MIRANDA LUSIBA 18 JUN 2021


There are great stories of people overcoming their circumstances and finding creative solutions to economic challenges, of course. Hell, almost every #YouthMonth in the past three years I’ve been shouting from the rooftops how the kids are doing it for themselves. Struggling your way to the top against all odds is fine but it can’t be the norm to build a country on. We need systems and institutions that do what they are supposed to.

The rise of misinformation vs real problems


The point I’m getting to (in the most roundabout way) is that the rise of misinformation distracts from these real problems. How can we take the government to task when we’re too busy wading through a sea of conspiracies? Misinformation is actively killing people during the pandemic as well. People aren’t taking precautions against catching Covid-19 or mistrust vaccines, which results in deaths that could’ve been avoided. We’re all vulnerable to misinformation because we want to make sense of the outrageousness of things. Conspiracy theories get under our skin because they’re sexier than the truth and make it easier for us to turn off our brains. Everything that’s going wrong? It’s Bill Gates, China, immigrants, 5G, the Illuminati or some multi-government cabal. The government cabal is maybe closer to the truth, but not in any complex, multilayered way. It’s just sheer arrogant incompetence. Because they can get away with it and we are too distracted to do anything about it.
All the people on Twitter telling us that we are sheeple are also just sheeple to misinformation.
This #YouthMonth is a rough one and things are generally disappointing. It’s difficult for all of us and perhaps there is light at the end of the tunnel, I don’t know. Protect yourself and the people around you by taking the necessary Covid-19 precautions. I’d say get vaccinated but there’s not much to do but wait on that count.

Sunday, 24 January 2021

The Women Who Raised Me

The Women Who Raised Me

“We was born to mothers who couldn't deal with us
Left by fathers who wouldn't build with us”

 


 
I’m the son of loud and proud Xhosa women who are present

I’m the son of a loud and obnoxious father who is absent

I was raised by women who built me up

And men who wouldn’t build with me


My grandmother, Ouma Sag, is warmth and chaos,

A rough and tough Kallit woman

Who married into the Xhosa culture,

‘La gogo we Lawu’

She taught me Afrikaans and gave me my love of tea

She is afraid of the government and white people

Considering her history,

Rightly so


My mother is noise and structure

She likes things being in their place

She’s the hardest working person I know

Life hasn’t been kind to her,

In response, she’s one of the kindest people you’ll ever meet

She’s a bit of a busybody, though

She likes getting involved in everyone’s business,

In a good-natured, well-meaning way


My aunt, my Mam’ncane, is quiet and chaos

She doesn’t like people much

And minds her business

She’s fiercely intelligent

Her focus and determination inspire me to keep pushing myself further


My sister is cheek and chaos

She’s all attitude, that one

Always ready to put people in their place

She’s crazy and fierce

Her fire burns hot and bright

I hope that she sets the world on fire

With her excellence one day


I am all of these characteristics,

With a generous serving of anxiety on the side

But all the good qualities I do have,

I get from these wonderful women

Who raised me

Friday, 15 January 2021

Occasional Letters to Death #4

Visiting the Departed




Death is before me today:

Like the recovery of a sick man,

Like going forth into a garden after sickness.


Death is before me today:

Like the odor of myrrh,

Like sitting under a sail in a good wind.


Death is before me today:

Like the course of a stream,

Like the return of a man from the war-galley to his house.


Death is before me today:

Like the home that a man longs to see,

After years spent as a captive.


Neil Gaiman, Preludes & Nocturnes (The Sandman, #1)

 



Dear Death,


I spoke to four dead men today,

Their graves next to each other in my grandmother’s garden

I loved them all to varying degrees in Life

I love them to even more varying degrees in Death


The first man I spoke to was my grandfather

The degree to which I loved and love him is small,

As small as his mindedness was

But I was glad to swing by and say hello


The second man was sort of an adopted grandfather, I guess

He hung out at my grandmother’s house a lot

We all just went along with it

We all went along till he just became part of the family

I loved him in a pleasant sort of way

I still do

He told utterly fantastic stories that you could tell he utterly believed

He had an old-man smell that I liked


The third man I spoke to was my uncle, my Malume,

My mother’s older brother

He gave me some of his OCD

When I shine shoes or iron shirts, I think of him

I loved him

Even though he always shouted at me

I miss him and I am mad at him

He died in such a stupid way

Tuberculosis!

Treatable

He just had to take his pills


The last man I spoke to was my Malume too,

My mother’s middle brother

I loved him very much

He didn’t deserve it

He was trouble wearing a charming smile

We were all at peace the day he died too young

In Death, we all love him more than we did in Life


Monday, 15 June 2020

#YouthMonth: What do all these #movements want?

My original article here.

12 June 2020
"More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness." - Charlie Chaplin
If 2020 was an old-school video game, it would be the level where they make you fight all the boss characters you’ve defeated before all at once and you have to remember the right button sequences to defeat each of them. While you’re doing that they throw in Covid-19, the new ultra-powerful boss. All of our chickens are coming home to roost this year, it seems, and we have to deal with them somehow.

One of the things that the outbreak of Covid-19 has made clear is that all of us are in the same boat, whether we like it or not. What happens in China affects all of us. What happens in the US affects all of us. What happens in South Africa affects all of us. The murder of George Floyd by police officers in the US started a wave of protests against police brutality towards black people and the huge issue that is racism in general. This has also made us look at our own cases of police brutality right here at home, especially with the murder of Colins Khosa by members of the SANDF.

Charles Siboto
Charles Siboto

Stop and listen


I’ve been reading the stories around the #BlackLivesMatter protests and looking at how people I know respond to them, whether in anger that we still have to protest against systemic racism, that we still #CantBreathe or with hey, #AllLivesMatter or what about #FarmMurders and #WhiteGenocide? I spent the week just monitoring my social media accounts and watching people I know grapple with the issue of racism in various ways. Some of the responses I agree with and some not but my goal was to watch, listen and try and understand where everyone is coming from.

My takeaway is that we all need to stop and honestly listen to the experiences of others, just listen and resist the temptation to say: “Yes, but . . .” As I said before, whether we like it or not we are in the same boat and even if something like racism doesn’t affect you directly it does indirectly.
This #YouthMonth I want to look back at where we came from, back to the Soweto uprising of 1976. I want to remember how far we have come and to look forward to how far we have to go yet.

The Soweto uprising of 1976


What did the thousands of students want on 16 June 1976 when they took to the streets of Soweto in protest? They were protesting the Bantu Education Act that mandated that all school subjects be taught in Afrikaans. What those students wanted was to be taught in a language they understand, equality and equal opportunity for all youth. The Apartheid government clearly didn’t like how those students were protesting and opened fire on them. When former President Nelson Mandela was fighting for the freedom of black people he was considered a terrorist and eventually imprisoned. Bantu Stephen Biko was murdered for his anti-Apartheid activism. In the US, Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated for his views even though he advocated for non-violent resistance against that racist system.

What I am getting at is that all these people and movements want the same things and have been killed trying to get those things whether they did it peacefully or violently. Whatever system is in charge always responds with violence and that is what should appal us! That the Apartheid government killed people, that the miners in #Marikana were killed under the rule of this government, that Colins Khosa was killed by members of the SANDF.

New documentary tackling racial inequality to launch on Youth Day
New documentary tackling racial inequality to launch on Youth Day
Tuesday, 16 June, sees the online launch of Good Hope, a new feature-length documentary from award-winning filmmaker Anthony Fabian...
11 JUN 2020

Equality and equal opportunity


What black people and other people of colour want are equality and equal opportunity. What women want are equality and equal opportunity. What the LGBTQ+ community wants are equality and equal opportunity. That is all. None of these groups wants to take anything away from anyone and that can’t be so difficult to understand! #BlackLivesMatter has never been about black lives being superior, just that they, too, matter. Just matter, that is all. That isn’t difficult to understand.

#MeToo and #MenAreTrash has never been about trying to destroy men but women holding men who sexually assault women accountable. Again, not such a highbrow concept. Take a step back and just think about this, every single woman you know has experienced some form of sexual harassment, every single woman. Unless they live in some secret pocket of the country I know nothing about, every single PoC you have encountered has experienced some form of racism. Every member of the LGBTQ+ community has been harassed for simply being who they are in some way. That is absolutely wild!

#YouthMonth: Preaching inclusivity - Q&A with Toya Delazy
#YouthMonth: Preaching inclusivity - Q&A with Toya Delazy
Multi-award-winning Afro-techno princess Latoya Nontokozo Buthelezi, aka Toya Delazy, chats to us this #YouthMonth about inclusivity, tolerance and her advice for aspiring young musicians..
BY RUTH COOPER 8 JUN 2020

If you are a straight, white male does your life not matter? Do your views not matter? Are you not suffering? Do white people not experience racial prejudice? Do men not experience sexism? As a straight, white male your life and views matter but the social contract we all live under tends to honour its responsibilities to you. You can and, in fact, you definitely do still experience hardships like any human being, though. You can be a victim of crime, you can lose your job, you can be poor and just generally have a difficult life.

White people can suffer from prejudice, sure, but not from systemic racism. Men can suffer from prejudice and be sexually harassed by women but can also not suffer from the sort of systemic sexism that affects their careers or the sort of harassment that makes them fear to be around women in general. Straight, cisgender people suffer but not for their sexual orientation or not fitting into specific gender boxes.

Start with kindness


What can you do then? The best thing to do is simply to listen to PoC, to women and the LGBTQ+ community when they express their frustrations. Taking that time to say things like #AllLivesMatter or #NotAllMen does nothing to help anyone because we know these things. When your friend has been in an accident and is bleeding out on the street they know that it sucks that you got robbed last week but they definitely still would rather go to the hospital first.

Educate yourself on social issues as much as you can. Own whatever privilege you have and use it to fight for those who don’t have the same. Talking about things like race and sexism is uncomfortable but we have to do it if we ever hope to find solutions. Just start where you are and start with kindness. Kindness goes a long way and we need it since we have a long way to go before we reach our goal of equality and equal opportunity. 

12 ways to support your local community during Covid-19
12 ways to support your local community during Covid-19
In just a few short weeks, the coronavirus pandemic has turned our world upside down and as the crisis deepens, so do the challenges with a growing number of people facing unemployment, mounting debt and numerous other issues precipitated by the disruption of the virus...
BY YAEL GEFFEN 1 JUN 2020

One of the things many people are concerned about with the Covid-19 lockdown is the impact on the economy. As a society, we have a long history of squandering our human resources by not allowing people to fully participate in the economy based on race, gender and sexual orientation. Well, unless people were being forced to participate in the economy for the bare minimum wage.
What I am getting at is the fighting for equality and equal opportunity for everyone is good for everyone in the end because if the social contract works for everyone there is no reason to breach it. That means crime rates drop and no one is marching and looting in the streets, because there is no need to. Being actively anti-racist, anti-sexist and anti-homophobic makes the world better for white men, men and straight people too!
This #YouthMonth, let us look back at how far we have come and brace ourselves for how far we have to go until we are all free because this is #NotYetUhuru when every few months we have to remind people that #BlackLivesMatter and #MeToo. Be actively anti-racist, anti-sexist and anti-homophobic in your everyday life. Small deeds go a long way as JRR Tolkien pointed out: “I have found that it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folks that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.”

Sunday, 31 May 2020

Sea Star Summer by Sally Partridge, Book Review


Sea Star Summer is the sort of YA novel you pick up and read in one sitting and when you’re done you feel a bit sad that the adventure is over. It feels like coming to the end of a really good December school holiday and having to come to terms with going back to normal life. Sally Partridge’s writing in this book is, for the lack of a better word, delicious. She manages to tackle surprisingly heavy and sensitive issues in a graceful manner that allows the reader to grapple with them without feeling weighed down. Sea Star Summer is a light touch where her last YA novel, Mine was a heavy hammer. The story is told through the eyes of Noami, an awkward, red-haired and bookish 16-year-old girl who goes to Jeffreys Bay for the December holidays with her parents. She’s looking forward to having a chilled holiday reading her books on the beach and avoiding people. Things, of course, don’t go as planned as she not only meets and befriends the carefree and imaginative Elize on the beach but also finds herself being romantically pursued by the handsome surfer, Daniel and Elize’s brooding brother, Marius. From here a whirlwind coming-of-age love story filled with literary references ensues.
Back home in Cape Town Naomi is the kid at school who never gets invited to parties because the other kids see her bookishness and intelligence as snobby and stuck up. Boys don’t ask her on dates because she’s the sort of girl who corrects them when they’re wrong and would tell them if they confuse the Greek god Poseidon with his Roman counterpart, Neptune. Her mom is always telling her that people don’t like it when you correct them. So when she arrives in Jeffreys Bay and both Daniel and Marius are interested in her she doesn’t know how to deal with the situation, especially when she comes to realise that she actually has feelings for Elize. Daniel is the typical handsome jerk that treats girls poorly and is used to getting away with it and Marius seems to be a nice guy but he is also problematic in his pursuit of a girl who clearly isn’t interested in him. Elize, on the other hand, listens to Naomi and really wants to get to know her.
Naomi reads Jane Eyre to Elize on their beach dates and a quote from that book captures the theme that lies at Sea Star Summer’s heart, women and their perceived place in society.
“Women are supposed to be very calm generally; but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts, as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex.” 
Everyone wants Naomi to behave in a certain way in the novel. Her parents want her to be ‘normal’ and to make friends and meet a nice boy. The two boys she meets aren’t actually that nice, though. The relationship she has with Elize is healthy and not as toxic as what she would have with Daniel or even Marius but that’s the one her parents disapprove of. Daniel wants her tone down her intelligence and be impressed with how cool he is and Marius wants to be the saviour type. Only Elize wants her to be just her. Sally Partridge managed to pack in feminism, toxic masculinity and homophobia in Sea Star Summer without it feeling like some sort of lecture on those issues but just the story of a young girl finding herself.

Thursday, 26 March 2020

Unpacking Trauma

“We was born to mothers who couldn't deal with us
Left by fathers who wouldn't build with us”

“Sometimes, I was held down by the gravity of my pen
Sometimes I was held down by the gravity of my sin
Sometimes, like Santiago, at crucial points of my novel, my only logical option was to transform into the wind”




Trauma runs deep in my generation, right down to our bones. It hit me for the very first time lying in bed recently how much I’ve achieved despite my numerous failures or, rather, a perception of numerous failures. I spend so much time with middle-class to outright wealthy people that I measure my levels of success by their standards. This is something that has been exacerbated by my move to Germany and spending time with Europeans. Many of these people are painfully average and have none of the tenacity many people from my type of background possess and yet they succeed because they come from a place of security. This is no fault of theirs and I don’t blame them in any way. I am also not taking away from the individual challenges that even privileged people face. What I am looking to do for myself and people in the same situation as me, is examine and unpack my own trauma and, perhaps, get some closure.


Our childhoods form us and continue to haunt us as adults. One thing that sticks out for me when I look back into my childhood is that I am a liar, through and through. Just a terrific liar. Much like Holden Caulfield in The Catcher in the Rye. I mostly lie about my wellbeing. If you ask me, I’m always okay. I don’t know how to tell people that I am, in fact, not okay, that I am falling apart. Lying about my wellbeing has been my go-to brand of protective mechanism. What’s really captured my fascination lately, though, is how I’ve lied to myself over the years. I’ve wanted to be like all my middle-class friends so long that I have downplayed my journey to where I am now. I’ve allowed myself to be crippled by depression because I can never measure up to some standard that was never even for me. All I’ve ever wanted was to be good enough. I’m that fish trying to climb trees alongside squirrels.

My thoughts have been time travelling back to the parts of my childhood that have always been too traumatic to deal with. I’m the child of domestic workers raised in backrooms. I’m the product of leaky roofs and sleeping on i-sponge on the floor. I grew up with the green bar of Sunlight and taking baths in a waskom. I would never go to bed on an empty belly because my grandmother made sure we at least had a loaf brown and tea to break our fast and pap and cabbage to quiet the stomach rumblings before bed. I was raised by a grandmother who made less than R2000.00 a month. I was raised by a single mother who worked piece jobs, tying together small pieces of income to make ends meet.

Growing up, I was told that I’m smart and that positive reinforcement played a huge role in how I saw myself, it gave me the confidence to compete in school. I did well, but not a well as I know I could. My academic journey from primary school to high school was pretty much a gradual and somewhat graceful arc of good marks. I made it to university where, rather than a graceful arc, my academic performance became a herky-jerky line from one crisis to another. I look back at my time in university and it’s a time a remember fondly but also one where I feel I suffered failures that follow me to this day. I should’ve done better and I beat myself up quite a lot for that time. With my external circumstances, I did the best that I could, though. I need to recognise that when I had the mental breakdowns I did in university I had no support. No one in my family could guide me through that territory because I was the first person in my family to traverse that territory. I needed mentorship but tried to carry all of that weight on my shoulders. My mountain was higher than that of many of my peers but I didn’t know because I kept looking at them scale their mountains and feeling like I was not as good as they are. For people like me sometimes just showing up at a place is the victory, but showing up isn’t enough, you still have to complete the task at hand.

My measuring stick has been way off and I have never taken the time to sit back and celebrate any of my victories. I’m sitting here, right now, living in another country and I feel down when, looking back, every part of my life is a resounding success. It’s like Neil Gaiman said of his tremendous success with his comic book series, The Sandman, that he never heeded Stephen King’s advice to enjoy his success. Instead of enjoying his success, he spent the time worrying about it. I remembered this when the children’s book I co-wrote was published and enjoyed every moment of people coming out to support the book. But I still forget to do this with other parts of my life. It’s good to pause and look back at how far one has come. Sure, I’ve not achieved as much success as I would’ve liked and many of my peers are doing much better than I am but I haven’t done as bad as my anxiety would have me believe either. And in this age of Instagram where we only see the best foot that people put forward, you also can’t just assume that people are doing better than you because we hide our struggles. All each of us can do is be sensitive to what others are going through and to continue to learn to know and improve ourselves.

The main reason I’m trying to delve into my childhood trauma is that I want to write a novel and I am scared to death of the task at hand. The world is on lockdown because of the Coronavirus outbreak so I have time to focus on the task but panic and fear of failure are holding me back. What if I write a book and it’s not good enough? So, I’m sitting here trying to write through those childhood mental blocks. Looking back to move forward, as it were.

Wednesday, 22 January 2020

#BizTrends2020: 2020 at the movies

My original article here.

09 Jan 2020

Here's what to look forward to on the big screen in 2020


Welcome to 2020 at the movies, let's see what this new decade has in store for us.

Reboots and long-awaited sequels


As ol’ King Solomon once said, there’s no new thing under the sun. This year’s reboots kick off with the horror feature, The Grudge – which will be released in theatres on 17 January. This is a reboot of three existing films released between 2004 and 2009, and those movies are based on the Japanese franchise!

Will Smith and a chubbier Martin Lawrence are back for one last ride as Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett in Bad Boys for Life. This is one we’ve been waiting for since 2003’s Bad Boys II. Belgian directors Bilall Fallah and Adil El Arbi have taken over the reins from Michael Bay but it looks like we can still expect a whole lot of explosions, car chases and gunfights. Bad Boys for Life hits our screens on 24 January.



Move over Eddie Murphy (and, I guess, Kyla Pratt from the straight-to-DVD versions), it’s Robert Downey Jr’s turn to take a crack at the eccentric Dr John Dolittle character in Dolittle also being released on 10 January. The man who can talk to animals is accompanied by a wealth of talent voicing all of his friends, including Rami Malek, Octavia Spencer, Kumail Nanjiani, John Cena, Emma Thompson, Antonio Banderas, Michael Sheen, Jim Broadbent, Marion Cotillard, Frances de la Tour, Carmen Ejogo, Ralph Fiennes, Selena Gomez, Tom Holland and Craig Robinson. The film is directed by Stephen Gaghan (Syriana, 2005).

HG Wells’s The Invisible Man gets a remake starring Elisabeth Moss (The Handmaid’s Tale), Aldis Hodge (Clemency) and Oliver Jackson-Cohen (The Haunting of Hill House). The film, written and directed by Leigh Whannell, comes out on 13 March. 27 March sees Disney continue with its live-action/hauntingly real CGI adaptations in the form of Mulan, directed by Niki Caro and starring Yifei Liu, Donnie Yen and Jet Li.




Daniel Craig is back in his fifth film as James Bond in No Time to Die on 3 April, directed by Cary Joji Fukunaga. The movie picks up after Bond has left active service and is enjoying a tranquil life in Jamaica and co-stars Rami Malek, as the Bond villain, Léa Seydoux and Lashana Lynch. Apparently, people have been waiting for a sequel to 1986’s Top Gun and their prayers have been answered! Tom Cruise is back as the legendary fighter pilot, Maverick in Top Gun: Maverick on 3 July.

Hollywood is taking another stab at Ghostbusters this year after the 2016 version didn’t go down so well. They are linking this one right back to the originals and tapping into that glorious ‘80s nostalgia that’s keeping Stranger Things’ Finn Wolfhard employed. 10 July gives us Ghostbusters: Afterlife with the original feature’s director’s son, Jason Reitman, in the director’s chair. The movie starts good ol’ Finn Wolfhard, Paul Rudd, Mckenna Grace, Carrie Coon and Bokeem Woodbine.



We’ve had Kingsman: The Secret Service and Kingsman: The Golden Circle and now we go back in time with the prequel to discover the origins of the very first independent intelligence agency, The King’s Man, on 14 February. The King's Man stars Harris Dickinson, Ralph Fiennes, Gemma Arterton and Djimon Hounsou. Matthew Vaughn is back as director.

The comic book stuff


DC kicks off things with Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn on 7 February. Remember Suicide Squad? I guess this movie picks from there. Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn’s broken up with the Joker and is looking to start a new life. I don’t even know. At some point, Harley Quinn joins superheroes Black Canary, Huntress and Renee Montoya to save a young girl from an evil crime lord, Black Mask. Birds of Prey stars Margot Robbie, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Jurnee Smollett-Bell, Rosie Perez, Chris Messina, Ella Jay Basco, Ali Wong and Ewan McGregor. The film is directed by Cathy Yan (Dead Pigs, 2018).



3 April gives us director Josh Boone’s horror-influenced X-Men movie New Mutants, hopefully. The movie was supposed to be released in 2018 but was delayed. It stars Game of Throne's Maisie Williams and Anya Taylor-Joy. Marvel Studios opens their Phase 4 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe with Black Widow on 1 May. The film is directed by Cate Shortland (Berlin Syndrome, 2017) and stars Scarlett Johansson as Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, alongside David Harbour, Florence Pugh, O-T Fagbenle and Rachel Weisz. Set after the events of Captain America: Civil War (2016), the film sees Romanoff on the run and forced to confront her past.

2017’s Wonder Woman was a huge hit and we’re super excited about the sequel, Wonder Woman 1984. The sequel hits screens on 5 June, it’s set in the ‘80s (like so many films and series these days) and sees the return of Steve Trevor somehow. The movie is the ninth instalment in the DC Extended Universe and is directed and co-written by Patty Jenkins. It stars Gal Gadot as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, alongside Chris Pine, Kristen Wiig, Pedro Pascal, Robin Wright and Connie Nielsen.



More highlights


Other films to look forward to in 2020 are The Turning, based on Henry James’s novel – which is the story of a nanny hired to take care of two creepy kids in a creepy house in Maine. The film stars Mackenzie Davis, Finn Wolfhard (this kid again), Brooklynn Prince and Joely Richardson. Sonic the Hedgehog is a thing that’s happening. In this live-action adventure comedy, Sonic and his new best friend Tom (James Marsden) team up to defend the planet from the evil genius Dr Robotnik (Jim Carrey) and his plans for world domination.



A film I’m looking forward to – because I loved the books as a kid – is Artemis Fowl, which is about a 12-year-old Artemis who is a millionaire, a genius and a criminal mastermind. But Artemis doesn’t know what he's taken on when he kidnaps a fairy, Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon Unit to harness her magic to save his family. Disney Pixar is also releasing an interesting project with Soul, a journey from the streets of New York City to the cosmic realms to discover the answers to life’s most important questions. Soul stars Jamie Foxx and Tina Fey and is directed by Inside Out's Pete Docter.

I wish you 2020 vision at the movies this year.

Monday, 9 December 2019

Jozi: The City Under the City

© Pierre Blignaut

“So, if a city has a personality, maybe it also has a soul. Maybe it dreams.” — Worlds' End

Eish, Jozi . . . Ja, neh . . . Jozi, that great city where dreams and their dreamers are swallowed up whole more often than not. To survive in Jozi you don’t necessarily need the right tools, you need the creativity to make the wrong tools work for you. Like many major cities around the world, Jozi is made up of layers. The top layer is the rough and tough face of its everyday business, that mainly being people going about their business at a furious pace. The first lesson my mother taught me about this city is to keep moving and not to speak to anyone. On its surface, this warning always seemed like it was about avoiding being a victim of crime but it also served as a warning about something stranger. The warning sometimes included the word amasilamusi. A word that both intrigues and frightens me to this day. A word that made quite the impact on Twitter last week.


The great city of Jozi has a mystical layer that appears on the surface every now and then but that usually exists under everything else or on the fringes. In Neil Gaiman’s novel, Neverwhere another London exists below the hustle and bustle of the familiar one on the surface, a mysterious and magical London Below. Inspector Tyador Borlú finds himself trying to solve a crime that spills over into a city that occupies the same space as his city in China Miéville’s novel, The City and the City. A city most can see from the corner of their eye but avoid focusing on. In Jozi, too, below its bustle and grime, there exists another Jozi. One most of us have heard about but tend to look at only from the corner of our eye, if ever at all. The citizens of Jozi learn to navigate the city around its strange elements.


© Austin Malema
One of these strange elements made an appearance on Twitter last week with Noluthando Zuma’s Tweet asking if people know about the taxi from Fourways to Bree that’s driven by a cat. Her Tweet blew up as others came forward with their own stories of this taxi driven by a cat looking to make ends meet. More people came forward with other equally strange experiences or stories from sources like cleaning ladies at work. In my own experience, cleaning ladies at work are an excellent source of all things weird and to do with witchcraft. The story with the cat makes for great memes but what stands out is how many people seem to have encountered this cat driving his route between Fourways and Bree. We might not be sure if this cat plays Maskande or Amapiano on his drive but we all do believe the story on some level. The concept of isalamuzi or amasilamusi came up, with people reporting having had their heartbeats stolen by a driver that made sounds like a baby or purred like a cat.


My mother’s warning about Jozi was also a warning about amasilamusi, whose powers seem to change according to whoever tells the story but there are overlapping elements in all the stories. One of my mother’s experiences with these people, creatures or whatever they are, happened in the late ‘90s. She was coming out from the now infamous Smal Street Mall when she was stopped by an old lady asking for directions. My mother made the rookie mistake of stopping the hear the lady out and fell under some spell. She says she lost control of her wits and found herself going to an ATM with this lady and withdrawing her daily limit. The whole thing was like being in a dream. Next thing she was in an alley with this woman and some men carrying a suitcase filled with money. The old woman told my mom to hand over the money to the men and take the suitcase from them. The idea was that the two of them split the money in the suitcase. My mother obliged and made the exchange. And just like a dream, the next thing she remembers is being in a taxi from Faraday to Turffontein. The suitcase was now a Checkers plastic bag in her lap filled with cut-up newspaper. She told the people in the taxi what had happened to her and, as if it was the most normal thing in the world, they told her it was the work of amasilamusi.

© Thandile Zwelibanzi
Apparently, some amasilamusi are so powerful that they can steal all the money on your person by merely touching you and when you get home all you have is worthless paper where the money was. This only happens if you talk to them, though. That seems to be their one binding rule, that their powers can’t affect you unless you speak to them. Most of us have a blueprint to navigate this other Jozi because our parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents told us these stories but it becomes buried in our subconscious at some point, operating in the background. Noluthando Zuma’s Tweet about that industrious cat has taken the world of amasilamusi and introduced it to Twitter. The result has been largely hilarious and a bit frightening but my thinking here, eyam’ iworry is whether amasilamusi are ready for Twitter? Can their world still exist in the shadows with Black Twitter’s finest on the lookout?