I was telling my friend, Dean, that I think guys have the shorter end of the stick when it comes to romantic male/female relationships yesterday. He disagreed. Something funny popped into my head at that moment. When men write love songs or poetry they're all emo and soppy. In the field, though, they're like predators and want to come off as being alpha. I'm generalising but I don't think I'm too far off the mark.

So let me get this straight; you play hardball to get the girl and then show her your secret stash of plush toys afterwards. Shorter end of the stick or not I'm not complaining. The reality is that I am a guy and it's not bound to change any time soon, so it's either I live with it or I go out on a shooting spree and then finally shoot myself. There's also the fact that I actually like being a guy - it's awesome. I'm the proactive party; I act upon, I'm not acted upon. It's good to be a man.

P.S. The reality is that we can't choose our gender (transsexuals aside), thus it doesn't matter whether it's better being one gender or not because you don't get to choose. It's not like when someone has more money that you and you can bust your gut and become richer than that person.

Making a famine where abundance lies,

Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel. - William Shakespeare Sonnet 1

People always sell themselves short and think that their lives are terrible. I think that as long as my mind is intact I'm okay and as long as I still have the capacity to learn new things I have the means of living a life of fire. My standard, benchmark or whatever you want to call it is simple. If I reached a certain zenith in my life and through some series of unfortunate events I fall from that high it's okay because I still have the knowledge of how to get back there and my new aim is to get back there and to surpass that level. So I'm like crap! instead of whining that my life sucks I'm going to go out there and fix what's wrong! I'm not going to sit here and ostracise my self. Let the world do that.

Soul Mates, Love Songs & Sonnets

I was speaking to S. (the girl I'm crushing on as things stand) about soul mates some time ago and she mentioned something interesting. She figures that the concept of soul mates doesn't just apply to lovers but to everyone in general. S. says that all sorts of people who make an impact on your life can be your soul mates; a best friend is a soul mate, your golden retriever is a soul mate, your grandmother is a soul mate... and so on. I've thought about it and I agree. You learn things from people you meet and they contribute to your life, making some sort of impact on you. There are probably people you love dearly and they are part of your soul in a way. This take on soul mates got me thinking about love songs and poetry. One always assumes that the addressee of love songs and poems is the speaker's lover even if it's never explicitly stated. In many instances the speaker could be addressing his or her brother, parents or cat. An example is Shakespeare's sonnets. Critics are still speculating if they are addressed to a lover, a friend or maybe simply a benefactor. Imagine writing the following lines to a friend (I think this is especially weird if you're male):

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Thou art more lovely and more temperate

When one takes some time out to think about it there's nothing wrong with writing these lines to your friend (of the same sex). In our day and age people would think you're a closet homosexual though. I don't see it as being that weird (writing emo poems to your friends I mean) but that's just me and according to some reports I'm a tad bit strange.

Mental Slavery

I heard the most shocking thing ever last night! My family was going on about how hard it is being a black person because one has to appease the ancestors. I was blown away. I have a great respect for people who believe in a thing (even if it's totally opposite to what I believe) because it makes rational sense for them. It's one of those problems I have with religion where people are born into let's say a Pastafarian family and they adopt the religion because their parents believe in it. My family feel that they have to believe in what they believe (a mix of Christianity and ancestral Xhosa tradition) because they are forced to as a result of being Xhosa. I love my God-given free will and I love to choose my own course in life. People should sit down once in a while and think about things they believe in I say - you'll be much happier that way and way more sure about your beliefs. I'm seriously shocked that my family feels stuck in their beliefs!

Enlightenment

I was watching Morning Live this morning, like I always do on weekday mornings, when Lee-Anne Manas (she has a sexy voice I think) read an article in some newspaper about why Good Friday is so early this year. It's because of the lunar cycle after all. Check this out: news-press.

My goshness, I learned something new today.

The Sneakiness of it All

I can't believe the sneakiness of it all; wam, bam and next thing you know it's Easter and Christians around the world are celebrating and reminiscing about the suffering of Our Lord. I'm sitting here thinking wait a minute... isn't this supposed to happen in April? A classmate told me something about lunar phases when I asked her. I did what I always do when I don't have a clue what people are saying, I smiled and quickly changed the subject to things more pleasant.

This time of year always makes me happy and I don't mean the jump up and down sort of happiness but the wow! there are things bigger than us out there sort of happiness that humbles one's soul.

So from me to the world (whether you're Christian, Muslim, Pagan, Atheist or Pastafarian, it's all good): have a pleasant Easter.

The Children of Hurin

Wow! This is just amazing. I walked into a bookshop yesterday to get some varsity textbooks when I spotted this little gem and I just had to get it. I don't know if any of you have noticed but I'm a huge admirer of Professor Tolkien's work. This book was released last year (and no one told me!) by JRR Tolkien's son, Christopher Tolkien who put the tale together from his father's manuscripts. Christopher is the guy who edited and oversaw all the posthumous publications (like The Silmarillion) of his father's work and he's always true to Professor Tolkien's aims and thus I think this book's going to be awesome. My reading list looks daunting though, I still have to finish reading Floating Dragon, start Stephen King and Peter Straub's Black House, Dean Koontz' The Good Guy and other stuff I can't remember now. There's also varsity work to be done but at least I have two weeks of holiday coming up. Hopefully I'll be able to tell you guys if the book is as epic as it looks set to be in about a month. I'm really excited. The artwork looks amazing. Google tells me that the artist, Allan Lee, also did some cool stuff for The Lord of the Rings.

Thinking About a Revolution: The Neo-Renaissance Man

To be, or not to be - that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

And by opposing end them?

(Hamlet: III, i, 57 - 56)

I've been reading Hamlet's soliloquys lately and by Jove! the man is topsy-turvy and one can't help but like him. For me Hamlet is the embodiment of man (whether he be Renaissance or contemporary) and his struggle to live - and I mean really live! - on this planet. I don't know about other people but I can relate to many of his thoughts and because he's such an introverted character I get what he's about. Then again I suspect that everyone who reads the play think they get what he's about. Hamlet represents the all-round Renaissance man who's well-read in the liberal arts. He is a scholar, warrior, lover (in a crazy sort of way) and he's an artistic type of dude. I think that the Renaissance man needs to be revived. One always sees people who are very successful in their careers and think wow! that guy must be super content with his life. But in all probability he is not; he's unlucky in love, his kids walk all over him and his dog has no respect for him. On the other hand there's a woman whose job is waiting tables and she's rather average looking. She's happy though (unlike our high flying guy) because she's pursuing her career as an aerialist in the Moscow circus, she's well-read, she's so bubbly and charming that people just fall madly in love with her and her dog almost commits suicide every time she's out of sight. My point is that people always focus on one or two areas of their lives to excel at and then end up unhappy anyway. I say focus on your whole life. People are better at some things than they are at others but don't just work on things you're good at.

Everyone's a house with four rooms: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. Unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person. - Rumer Godden

The Metamorphosis (second stage, moving into third)

When I'm down in the doldrums I write poetry, I don't pretend to be any good at it but it helps balance one's emotions.

The Metamorphosis (second stage, moving into third)

I woke up one morning
Only to find that the sun no longer shines for me

I woke up to a cold and lonely world
Where no tall trees grow

I guess what I’m feeling can be called sorrow…
I’m not sure though
Because at times if feels like I’m the last man on Earth

I see people walking around with smiles on their faces
(I wear one too)
They all look happy
Then again I look happy too…
Happy living my lie

I sit and mull it over in my head
And come to a conclusion…
I’m a creator dammit!
I don’t have to stand for this meaningless existence

And thus I withdraw into my cocoon

Car Crash Hearts

I'm just thinking about Fall Out Boy's song, Thriller, where they sing:

long live the car crash hearts,

long live the car crash hearts!

cry on the couch,

all the poets come to life

I was hanging with friends of mine, Anouk and Shelley, yesterday and A. was telling us about all the trouble she's having with her car. The car's like super old and has been in the family for eons. It's actually her mother's car and she's having this strange relationship with it because she has to get to know it first and it's just crazy cool the adventures that she has with this car. There's a hill she can never go on because they've just not progressed to that level in their relationship and gosh! it's just mad charming. The car always stalls at a petrol station or near one so she knows she'll never be stuck in the middle of nowhere with it and there's a hole in the floor so you can see what's happening under you I guess. The only thing I know is that I'm going to steal her car when she's not looking and I'm taking a road trip with it to Bloemfontein. We'll be jamming to Fall Out Boy and it's gonna be fun!